I think Izzy on Adventuring Academy is correct that “chaotic” is an adjective disproportionately attributed to women players. Aside from Ally Beardsley, but that’s a whole other discussion regarding queerness and women in nerdy gaming spaces.
That being said here are some examples of men who are chaotic players:
Lou Wilson - Besides the Fabian almost dying example mentioned in the Adventuring Academy episode, we have Pinocchio’s whole hotdog bit, the pole dancing on his own nose, and his entire presence in the first episode. (“I’m the prince of Shoeberg, motherfucker”) Then there’s Squak who loves starting chaotic shit. Even Gunnie has to get in on the chaos.
Caldwell Tanner - If you’re not listening to Naddpod you’re missing out. He is incredibly chaotic. The shenanigans Beverly gets into is peak chaos. (Also Emily Axford is there to egg him on.). Early examples include a bullywug mating call and goofing a god. Even as a DM he’s chaotic. Look at Trinyvale, which is designed through pure chaos. (He, as video game character Gex, said the immortal words “I’m young, hung and full of tongue” which will live etched into my soul forever.) The world isn’t flat, it’s a cube!! Then there’s Hungry Dave in Hot Boy Summer who flings Frisbees and eats a spell. (Zac, Murph and Jake are also very chaotic in this too.)
Freddie Wong - D20 fans know him from Mentopolis in which he killed a police captain and has super hard testicles. But if you listen to Dungeons and Daddies you know he’s pure chaos. He takes huge cartoony swings and they are usually chaotic. Truly one of the most uncontrollable players out there. I’m more shocked when Freddie makes a grounded decision than a chaotic one.
Brian Murphy - I know what you’re thinking. “But but but he’s the rules guy. He’s a plot hound.” True but he’s also very chaotic. He makes the choice to eat the dragon that ate his dad. (Delicious in Dungeon style) Also Barry 6 has unhinged chaos moments equal to anything Emily does. What about Cody Walsh? Everything he does. He sold his soul in .25 seconds and smashed his face with a brick. Then there’s Jens Lyndelle, quite possibly the most wretched and chaotic piece of shit ever invented. Murph is sneaky chaotic. Yes he loves being a plot hound but so does Emily. The story and the game mechanics are vehicles for both of them to behave chaotically.
In a lot of these examples these guys are playing with Emily Axford and bringing a very similar energy. Yet she’s the one labelled chaotic. Lou is the more chaotic of the duo in ACOFAF. Caldwell and Murph match her freak on Naddpod. So, I do think there’s a disparity here and it does seem sexist. When Ally started playing they were a more female-presenting queer person. Or as they’ve phrased it, they “come from lesbianism”. So, I think you can certainly view it as a sexist label that stuck. But also let’s not overlook how queerness is viewed through the patriarchy as a feminine trait. Like misogyny and homophobia are spidermen pointing at each other. So it comes as no surprise the very openly queer person whom we watched transition on D20 is also labelled chaotic.
