Drown me in a river of fluff

Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices

Hey kids, you need to start worrying a little less about getting “#mogged” and a little more about getting “#smogged”. This is an Air Quality Index public service announcement.

if i was a soccer player i'd simply kick that ball in the goal instead of wasting everyone's time

Just a casual reminder that posting on the internet about how you would want to do physical harm to members of the US government is something that they can (and will) detain you over, so just be careful what you say in public spaces like, uh, on Tumblr.

this is your semi-regular reminder that tumblr has cooperated with the fbi to hand over user information in a very public way at least once. and that's not the only way the feds can collect information on you either

what if the US adopted the UK tradition of the head of government resigning in disgrace as soon as people start getting mad at them. let’s try it just once and see what happens.

After 13 years of this, it's still funny to me that detailing a full mental breakdown on tumblr is standard fare, but posting a nice selfie is a fraught decision.

this is the correct way around and every other social media site is wrong

Fun how the bystander effect was coined to cover up how cops are bigoted cowards who let a queer person die and stockholm syndrome was coined to cover that the cops handled a hostage situation so badly the hostages trusted their captors more than the cops.

"focaccia, serves 4" yes all 4 me

"tiramisu, serves 2" yes all 2 myself

“Pie, serves 8” yes I 8 it all

I just saw the world's freshest baby in Panera bread. Like that thing was JUST out of the oven. I've heard of being wet behind the ears but this baby was wet behind the everything. It was still damp.

the reason I casually say charlie kirk's wife had him killed is not necessarily because I believe it, but because nothing stops the right from spouting random conspiracy theories about political enemies, so i'll say whatever the hell I want when one of their idols dies. also it's funny. the entire charlie kirk death is inherently funny. he was in the middle of answering a question related to mass shootings when he died.

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat