Archie Writes(Reid's version)

How are u

Pairing: Queer Penelope Garcia X Fem! BAU! Reader

Genre: Fluff w/ NSFW imagery here and there

Tw/Cw: Queer Garcia, bathing suit photo, WE LOVE PLUS SIZE HERE, BAU reader, sapphic relationship, wlw, reader has a huge crush on Garcia, queer Emily, thirsty reader, sexual imagery of Garcia from reader

Word Count: 631

Today was a rare day off for you and your team. Killers don’t take breaks but you’re only human and can’t spend every day on the road. You decided to sleep in for the day, well sleeping in for you was waking up at 9 A.M. instead of your normal 6 A.M wake up calls for work. 

You toss and turn in your bed fighting for more sleep when you notice your phone was blowing up. In fear that it was work you check it, only to see it was just your group chat with the other girls on your team. 

Penny and JJ are going shopping and asking if anyone wants to join, you deciding sleep was more important at the moment, sadly declined. Emily said she was doing some much needed cleaning of her apartment because she was having her girlfriend over.

Another spam of “oos” and “awws” fills your group chat as you turn your phone over. Your mind fills with all the cute outfits Penny would be making, you know shopping can be very difficult for her and her body. Gosh did you love her body, it was so plump, so easy to hold, and so warm when she hugs you after a difficult case.

You fall back asleep to the images of you and her watching late night movies, her cuddling into you if it was a slasher flick.

It’s 12 P.M. by the time you finally drag yourself out of bed and make yourself some food. You check the group chat, and, as you expected, it was filled with Penny’s glorious body in so many different outfits. You start to compliment her outfit choices when a new one shows up.

A mirror picture. Of Penelope Garcia in a 2 piece. Her boobs are struggling to fit in the top, the bottoms sit perfectly in her dips. Your mind starts to short circuit as you stare much longer than a friend should. Much longer than a decent person should.

But how could you look away, her body screamed at you, filled you with an urge to dip her and kiss all over her gorgeous face. Oh and her face, a smug smile that looks like she knows you're staring. That she knows what she’s doing to you right now.

You send a quick text complimenting her style and she responds asking if you’re up for lunch. Apparently Emily took a break to meet the girls for lunch. You agree and take a quick shower to not only clean your body but to clean your thoughts up. Only your brain is stuck on her. Your brain can only focus on how pretty she is.

—

You make it to the restaurant after they’re already sitting down. Penelope waves you over smiling, oh that smile will be the death of you. You notice the only empty spot was next to her, so you sit down a little sheepish. Her dress shows off her curves again, you plead with your mind to stay holy but all you can think about is taking her dress off and making her moan your name.

“Hey there, you good there cheetah sister?” You turn to Penny who was waving her hand a little.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” She chuckles gently and smiles sweetly at you; you could swear a puddle starts to form at your feet.

JJ and Emily smile, seeing your crush from a mile away, Penelope holds your hand.

“I asked if maybe next weekend off, we go find a beach or a pool to lounge in, do you need a new swimsuit?”

You nod slowly, realizing that one Ms. Penelope Garcia will 1000000% be the death of you. And little do you know, she knows it too.

---

Summary: After a night of dancing Penelope and reader take it back to reader’s house for some mattress mamboo

Pairing: Penelope X Fem! Reader

Genre: Smut

Tw/Cw: Queer Penelope, sapphic relationship, grinding, face sitting (Readers face), making out, slight talk of drinking, Garcia is sober by the time the action starts, soft sub and dom dynamic, sub garcia and dom reader, use of mommy for reader, and multiple nicknames for Penny, slight after care

Word Count: 1,139

Penny’s wild moves are things that never stop surprising you. When she’s finally in the comfort of her body, when she can feel your loving eyes on her. They are always on her, her curves look so plush in her pretty red dress, people say every woman needs a little black dress but Penelope. Oh no Penelope looks best in color, red is your personal favorite, but purple was a close 2nd.

“Baaaby.” Even with the music you can hear the voice of your girl.

“Yes angel, are you okay?” You're at her side, leaving the table under the watchful eyes of JJ.

Penelope hugs you tightly, you can still smell the watermelon cocktail on her lips. “My feet hurt, I wanna go home. Please baby?” Her little pout and whine has you weak in the knees. 

“Of course, princess, let's go. In the car you can take off your heels, will that make you happy?” Her pout immediately forms to a smile as she rushes to grab her bag from the chair.

“Yes ma’am, let's go.” Y’all go out after passing out the quick goodbyes, y’all get a look from Derek who smirks and winks. Penny just brushes him off, happy to have the cool air on her face.

“Ah, I forget how stuffy the club gets.” Penelope fans her face, that heat from the club made her face flush even redder than her blush.

“You love hanging with your friends and they like the bars and clubs. I’m not complaining cause after a couple drinks my pretty girl is on that dance floor and how can I, a humble servant to the queen, deny myself the chance to her beautiful dance moves.” You didn’t know her face could get redder, though you’ll never complain.

She just huffs and playfully slaps the hand leading her to the car. After helping her in and taking off her shoes the journey home was filled with the softness of whatever song played from the bluetooth and the sound of your lips brushing against her knuckles.

—

When y’all get home and help her into some more appropriate sleep clothes, her whines started up again.

“No baby, you had drinks tonight.” She shakes her head, “Babygirl you can’t lie to me, I paid for your drinks.”

“But that was hours ago, I’m better now.” You look into her eyes, hard to tell if the blown-out look is from her need or the cocktails.

“It was 2 hours at best, how do I know they’re out of your system?”

“I can walk in a straight line or tell you the alphabet backwards, please mommy, I need you to touch me. Please.” She pulls your hand towards the heat between her plush legs.

“Do it, both. At the same time, but you stutter or even trip over your feet you get water and are sent to bed.” Your voice carries an authoritative nature to it.

To your surprise, she manages to walk forward and backwards in a straight line as she recites the alphabet backwards for you. “Bedroom, lose the shorts.”

She hurries off, you can hear her little feet stompies as she gets ready for you. You grab a cup of water, letting her sit on the bed, waiting for you.

As you open the door you catch her wiggling her hips as she kneels over your pillows. You tsk some and she looks up.

“I wasn’t doing anything; my hips aren’t even touching- you never told me I couldn’t- I’m sorry mommy.”

“You’re right, I didn’t tell you couldn’t touch. But have I let you touch without me before?” She shakes her head no, “Correct princess so sit up a little for me please.”

She kneels a little higher and you take off your own shirt and slide your head between her thighs.

“No, I want, I want you to fu-” You cut her off with a lick to her clit. You make random shapes before spelling slut and mommy on it. She can’t help but push her hips down, a rare occurrence with her.

“Mm, so sweet Babygirl. You’ve been treating yourself good huh, fuck I miss your taste. Could lay down here for years. Never get bored of your flavor.” Her beautiful moans fill the room, oh how you loved her sweet noises.

You adjust so you can slide a finger in as well, you thought she was loud before now y'all must be getting a complaint soon. Her normal shy behavior is thrown to the wind as she fights for the pleasure you’re giving her. She must have been needy since the start of the night the way her hips rock hard on your face. Her thighs offer you a nice ear cover as she squeezes down. A clear sign she was close, though she denies she has any telling signs. 

You moan softly as the taste of her cum fills your mouth, she rocks down hard begging through her moans.

“Please mommy, please. I need more; I need more please-” You don’t stop your tongue’s ravenous actions as you slide it in her cunt. Making her fully sit on your face this time, you explore her pretty hole as she cries softly, unable to sit up anymore and bends forward some. She tries to get into your shorts, but you lightly slap her clit. 

You pull her up just enough to tell her to be good and take what you give her. She gives a whimpery moan and nods, she holds herself up some and leaves your shorts alone. You go back to exploring the path you’ve memorized over nights spent at the other one's house between her stressful work. Little did her boss know, you’ve been spending nights under her desk helping her deal with the stress.

Summary: Reader is failing math and Spencer tries to make them happy Pairing: Spencer x gn! reader Genre: sad with fluff Tw/Cw: Reader is in college but Spencer and reader are similar ages, self deprivation to the max, crying, Spencer fearing he's not good enough, Reader feeling like they're not good enough, Word Count:1k

I couldn’t stop the stinging in my eyes, I wasn’t too bad at math but my grades are slipping too close to D territory. The tears started to fall before I could stop them, gods I’m so stupid. Why can't this just click for me, why am I so stupid?

I almost didn’t feel the hand on my shoulder, when I looked up I wasn’t surprised to see Spencer. He’s my boyfriend and he had a key, fuck why did I give him a key?

“My love? What happened? Did something happen to your brother?” I shake my head, unable to find the words to tell him. “What about at school, did something happen in one of your classes?” Though dating a profiler I’m not surprised he found the words himself, though, I’m sure it didn’t take a profiler to go down the list of problems I could have.

I start to pull away and he lets go of my shoulders but kneels in front of my face, “Darling please at least let me know what’s on that pretty mind of yours?” I couldn’t help but cry more, he thinks I’m so smart but I’m struggling in remedial math.

I stop hearing Spencer worries as I cry and cry into my hands. I don’t know how long I was crying or when Spencer had laid me back onto the bed but when I was finally out of tears Spencer had my head in his lap, laying on my favorite pillow. His delicate fingers running through my hair as he rambles about the book series we were reading together.

“There’s my love.. How are you feeling? Tired? Maybe hungry?” I could tell he was a little unsure what to do, I was always the one who had my emotions in check better.

“I..” I rolled to lay on my back and to look up at him, his eyes were unsure but had streaks of worry filling that beautiful hazel. “Can I go shower?”

“Yes yes of course, do you want me to join you? I can read to you?” Every fiber in my being wanted him close but I couldn’t let him close. I merely just shrug and I see some of the life leave him, he’s so worried. So worried over stupid me, who couldn’t get simple math problems down.

“I don’t..know.” His hands continue to work through my hair. I can tell he’s disappointed, once every few weeks we would sit in the tub together and take turns reading chapters. “You’ll call me if something happens right? If you need me? Right?” He has a subtle whine, it didn’t take a genius to know Spencer was craving to be the rock I needed.

I caress his face, my hands afraid to break the crystal of his beautiful features, “Of course baby.. Of course”

“Can I run the bath for you?” I couldn’t stop the little sigh from my lips but I nod and he hurries to the bathroom. I looked through my drawers to find an outfit but nothing felt right, I grabbed a pair of loose shorts and felt them. I could feel my eyes start to water again, why couldn’t I do anything right?

Why does nothing feel right, I couldn’t help the thoughts from flooding again. I snap out of it when Spencer opens the bathroom door.

“Hey hunny, the bath is ready. I can grab your clothes?” He eyes the shorts in my hands before going into his closet and finding a Tech sweatshirt. “Here, you can wear this? I wore to sleep on the last case, so it should smell like me? And..maybe the hotel?” I couldn’t help but chuckle but feel grateful for the sweatshirt.

“Of course I want the sweatshirt, it’s mine after all.” He chuckles at my little comment and hands it over. I feel the fabric before folding it nicely into a pile with my shorts and undergarments. “I’m gonna go soak for a little bit, okay?” Spencer nods and slowly holds my cheek.

“Please if you need me call me into the room, I’ll order some take out. I’m thinking Chinese?”

“Oh please Spence, you can’t use chopsticks.” He shakes his head and his hands wrap around my hips gently.

“No but I know for you a good egg roll makes you such a happy royal, I see your little happy dances when you get your fried rice.” I give him a shy smile and just give in. “You want your usual lovely?” I nod and Spencer gives me a soft kiss to my forehead before I walk into the bathroom. — After the bath I walk into the living room and see a small nest of pillows and blankets in the middle of the room.

“I tried to find the softest blankets for you my love, I hope it makes you happy.” I turn to the man who could see into my darkest pit and still find the love to order food, to make nice spots for just us. I wrap my arms around his neck and his arms wrap tightly around me. “I love you so much, I don’t fully know what happened. I don’t fully need to know but I need you to know that no matter what I am here for you. I will always be here for you.” As I nod Spencer leads me to the nest of blankets.

We cuddled together and ate away at our food, before I knew it the clock read 3:30 am. “I have a D- in math.. I just don't understand what he’s talking about.” Spencer looks at me surprised.

“Why didn’t you come to me sooner? Baby you know I wouldn’t mind helping you, I love helping you.” I look down feeling ashamed and the guilt rush to my face. “Hey baby..you don’t have to feel bad. Tonight we can cuddle and then tomorrow I’ll take a look at the class and see how I can help you?”

“You’re too perfect Spencer. I feel so..” He grabs my face with a little bit more force than I think he was expecting.

“Don't you dare say you feel small, don’t say you’re dumb. I might be good with math but history is your specialty.”

“But you also-”

His voice turns a little stern, “I know so much because of you and my mom. I like history, sure but there’s too much guessing in some stories that I just don’t always find enjoyable. Your eyes light up the town when you get to talk about history, I could never have that reaction. We may have different niches in our type of smarts but you will always be just as smart as me.” I nod and he holds me tighter.

“You could never ever change my mind on this. I love you so much.”

Summary: Garcia comes to terms that she’s still bisexual even if she prefers men. Pairing: Bisexual Garcia X Queer Fem Reader Genre: Fluff with a sprinkle of angst Tw/Cw: Garcia doesn’t feel true to herself because of her male crushes, reader is fem/fem presenting, reader tries to help Garcia through her touch of self hatred, a flirt/suggestive moment but no smut Word Count: 740

I didn’t know what to expect when Emily set me up with one of her coworkers. She said that Penelope is so sure of herself, ‘loud’ with her fashion and her makeup. But the lady in front of me looks so shy, unsure of herself and what she was doing here with me.

“Penelope, is something wrong? Are you not having fun here, did I do something wrong?” She looks up, confusion covering her beautiful features.

“No! Why, why would you ever think that?” Her hand stutters as slowly laces between mine

“You seem so.. Cut off.. I don’t know. Do I make you nervous? I know I tend to be abrasive.” Her eyes widen now.

“Oh abrasive could be my middle name! But this.. You. It's just. Oh I don’t know. This is all a big first time.”

I couldn't help but crack a smile, “Emily told me you were used to flirting, got told that you have coco god in your team.” I could feel the heat spread from her face. “It’s okay, are you used to mostly flirting with men and masculine people?”

Her nod reminds me of one from a pup who got caught, “Of course I flirted in college, but I’ve never really got a sapphic relationship. Women are a new territory, they always scared me growing up. So pretty with their curls and their freshly done nails. My mom always told me to love who I wanted but I could never bring home a woman.”

I caress her face gently, “Of course not, you were a minor,” Penelope’s eyes roll as I smile, “It’s okay to be afraid, I don’t think I’ve dated a boy, trans or cis. But I know I’m sapphic, I don’t need to go and kiss a man to know I don’t like it. Just like you don’t have to kiss and date women to just know. Some people need to, but I see it in your eyes. You know you like both men and women.” She nods, finally giving me more attention than she's giving her coffee.

“When did you just..know?” I think for a minute. “I think I always knew, maybe not exactly that I wasn’t into men or masc presenting. But I just knew I was different. I know that’s not the answer you’re looking for, but this has always been my life. I just..I just knew.” I rub the back of her hand gently, she squeezes softly.

Penelope opens her mouth before shutting it, she just stares at me. She’s holding back, she wants to say more. “Breathe pretty, it's okay. We can take this slow, we don’t need a proper title. It can just be us.” I hold her hand a little tighter, “Just us, and I guess your big black twelve pack.” She made a chokes noise hitting my hand.

“Emily told you about that? Oh my God.” I snicker softly, and kiss her hand gently. “I understand he’s a special person in your life, I won’t make you cut him off. I’ll ask for a little more separation of flirting, but I know I’ll rank higher from time to time.” I smile.

“I don’t know Derek Morgan is pretty high on my leaderboard.” Her finger rubs my wrist gently, tracing the star tattoos that litter around my wrist.

“Oh give me one night in your bed princess, and you’ll be so high you’ll be seeing stars for hours.” Her face lights up again, another smack to my wrist. I can’t help but smile, imagining the mornings with her. “But Penny, look at me, I do not care if you only dated men. I don’t care if after me you realize women aren’t your speed. What I care about and what I want you, Penelope Garcia, to care about is having fun with me. I don’t care if by the end of this you want someone else. I just want to help you in any way I can.”

She fully smiles, and I know this is the Penelope that Emily was telling me about, the Penelope I could fall in love with. If I haven’t already.

“Thank you, that’s..more than sweet of you. I hope I can live up to whatever adventures you have in store.”