Banana and Proud

“well you can’t spell stupid without u”

and he got really angry and shouted

“WELL THERE’S AN ‘I’ IN STUPID TOO”

You can’t just go changing the script like that.

1) take a notepad and pen with you (you can get little pocket sized sets for handbags etc.)

2) write down what you want *before* you join the queue.

3) Get to the front: if you can order verbally using the list as a prompt, fine. If not: hand them the paper.

P.S. Have a second choice written down (in case they’re out of what you want.)

E.g. 1x Double Cheeseburger OR 9x nuggets. 1x small fries. 1x medium coke OR medium sprite.

They won’t ask why if your voice gives up on you (they don’t know you don’t have laryngitis or some shit.) They won’t wonder about the list (they don’t know you’re not there ordering for someone else.)

This also works for sit-down meals.

Lots of love,

punched Draco Malfoy in the nose for being an idiot 

purposefully performed a confundus charm on whatshsface WHILE HE WAS FLYING just so Ron would win (omfg that is so fucking dangerous) 

literally pulled a fucking Bourne Identity on her parents and managed to set them up in fucking Australia (jesus christ she literally made it so that she NEVER EXISTED wtf that’s so fucking 007)

Convinced the Ministry of Magic to give her an incredibly dangerous and volatile device that allowed her to ALTER TIMELINES COMPLETELY (just because she was so smart, literally, that is the reason, her “potential”) 

Has enough basic survival skills and badass magic to literally disappear to the middle of nowhere and flourish AND figure out Voldemort’s plot with Harry 

Hermione also figures out not only what Voldemort’s plan is, but generally how to beat it, WAY BEFORE VOLDEMORT EVER DOES. Why? because she is just that much smarter and better at magic than everybody else