I am not a writer or a poet, past the grammar my punctuation is atrocious🤷🏿♂️ But every time I give you a piece of me there's a sense of relief that comes with it, so fuck it Iet me roll with it.
For the past two years and some change I've been fighting a war and the mind is the enemy. If you care for me don't pity me, just bear with me, try and understand me or better yet just pray for me.
My father told me he loved me and denied me in the same sentence. I don't know how I to feel about that one to be honest. There are troubled memories that my mind possess and plenty I have never been able to shake. I must have been about 4 or 5 too much of a maybe to be exact. See father was carpenter he had the hacksaw with him, tried breaking into the room mother was barricaded in. He was so full of rage, I can still the anger in his eyes today like it was just yesterday. What was he trying to do? Decapitate her? What if he killed her? I wouldn't be here today, you wouldn't know me like you know me either. My aunt Sandra was there and she did her best to restraint him. I felt like a coward back then I was barely punching above his waist. So I grew up with a simple thought; If I ever catch him then it's on site ⚰for him.
I never wanted a benz, when I read his caught fire I bought one to spite him. Hurt people hurt people, I was blind to it. I gave an energy to the 🌎 it never really appreciated. In reciprocation I found love when I was drowning, just to lose love.
God is fair, life is just. Take the Good and the bad absolutely! I know this to be true. Although I am not envious the mind wonders, I just can't help it sometimes. There are those I've loved from years back with mortgages, marriages and some babies. How does one compete? staying alive when I never really had the desire to?😒
Tomorrows are never promised but I'm hopeful when summer comes I'll be riding with all of my friends. But for now its cold nights alone in the benz❕
Piecebykai
