butch bait

passing in public makes me feel like white shrek

I really hated this girl in my class and we kept exchanging notes with various threats of violence on them but then on a Zoom call I saw that she kept a bunch of them pinned on her wall with little hearts around them and I got the biggest crush on her after that.

Not again. Reread OPs name

no shut up let me believe please i need this

people have suddenly started reblogging this post of mine from february 8th, 2012. great bit everybody

Interpreted this initially not as shelves, but as your cat having erected defensive fortifications

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

the real answer to almost every "does [identity A] belong in [identity B] spaces" question is actually just "these spaces are informal social groups and if you're cool you can hang, don't worry about it"

not without those fire exits I'm not. have fun in your death trap, ladies

remember when linguini brought a rat he found back to his apartment and got all embarrassed and was like it’s not much. to the rat