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1) more frequent orgasms - every weekday morning after the gym and a shower, I have my husband give me an orgasm using his mouth, hand or vibrator. This has really kept me motivated going to the gym and that’s just my morning workday routine!

2) a faux dick - my husband has a strap on to wear when I’m in the mood to get fucked but I’m not ready to unlock him. The desperate effort he puts into those hips when he fucks me while caged is intense & the orgasms are unreal! One tip for the strap on, put the dildo in hot water first to get it to around 98.7 degrees for a more natural feel.

3) sex - when I unlock him and we make love he knows that he cannot cum before I do. Our love making is passionate and raw. After I orgasm, he will ask me if he can cum when he’s close. If he’s been really good, I’ll let him. Other times I’ll say ‘no’ and tell him to go lock back up. It’s so sexy to have him melting in my hands and lusting with desire for me after I deny him an orgasm.

4) handjobs - I love to unlock him and blindfold him so he’s not looking at me. I’ll grab the oil and rub his dick. I start slow with gentle strokes then move to faster, firmer strokes. I love listening to his breathing and watching his body moving with pleasure. I also love how hard his cock feels as I’m stroking him. When he tells me he is getting close, I remove my hands and let that feeling of about to cum go away. Then I’ll start again to bring him to the edge 2 or 3 more times. Many times I will stop before he cums and snuggle up to him, laying on his chest, listening to his breathing become less heavy and watching his erection go away. Then I’ll tell him to go lock up. The sexual power of doing this without an ejaculation keeps his hands all over me for days and days. I love that sexual control over him.

5) Rules - a popular question I have been asked on my Tumblr deleted account is if guys are allowed to ask be unlocked or to ask to cum? Some wives will say, ‘no’ they can’t ask and will extend the time to be locked. Others will say ‘yes’ because they want to hear him beg and they may or not release him. The rules should be clear. My husband has only asked to be released 2 times. Both went like this. Him: can you unlock me? It’s been so long. Me: [sad face] No. Sorry. [smirk] But now you’ll be locked up for 2 more weeks for asking.” I think I made myself clear - I decide. Another rule for my hubby is that he has to go to the gym at least 4 days a week for me to consider unlocking him, otherwise I will add more time. He’s lost just over 10 pounds and his starter 6-pack abs really contrast with his steel cage! Make sure he knows your rules and expectations either by your words or actions.

6) don’t let it get stale (teasing & denial) - if you have your man caged, you already love being in control. Do you know the most effective way to fuck with a man after locking him up? A constant effort to make his dick hard in the cage. That means teasing and it melts their f-ing minds! Wear revealing things. Brush your ass against his cage when you walk by. Tell him things you would do to him if he wasn’t locked. Grab his cage and tease him that his dick can’t get hard. The more you tease, the more rewards you get in the form of attention!

When his skin is irritated, just fill his cage with thick lotion like Nivea. Make sure to put some lotion onder his foreskin. Now he can heal while locked.

If you really want his dick in you, use numbing cream. He will make you cum but he won’t feel a thing. After you came, just lock him back up!

Afraid that he might escape? Glue his foreskin to his dick with medical glue or super glue. It wil make sure he cant jerk off for at least a week.

Wash his cage in pure alcohol.

No need to take of the cage for cleaning. Pour some soap into the opening and blast some water in it. It will act like a dish washer.

Use some lotion or baby oil around the rings at night to prevent pulling and irritating.

Pull his dick in the cage using a piece of nylon stocking. That way you pull his foreskin to the front of the cage, being very comfortable.

The easiest way to put on a very small chastity device is in the shower. Use lots of soap while pulling his dick through the ring.

Swap the default lock into a numeric lock or a rubberized lock to avoid pinching. Unless you like the clicking noise when he moves.

No whining or talking about the cage is allowed. Otherwise you’ll only be hearing things involving sex.

Absolutely no complaining, bitching or whining will be permitted…. PERIOD.

When won’t enter his cage, use Ice

By Mistress Ivey,

Why is it that so many men seem to enjoy orgasm denial and control? Just what is the fascination with being denied the opportunity to cum, that attracts so many men? You would think that they would want to have that orgasm as soon as possible. So why do so many men love “not cumming” so much…

It’s simple, really. When a man ejaculates, a hormone is released that signals the brain to reverse the blood flow out of his cock. It also signals the brain to stop being aroused by the very things that he loves. So you see, when a man has an ejaculation, it’s not just because he is tired that makes him want to do something else, it’s his very make up, his own body, that is making him lose interest in sex. In other words, the longer he is denied an orgasm, the longer his pleasure lasts. Men only feel sexual pleasure before they cum, not after…

Therefore, ladies, it’s our duty to tease them and then deny them the release they only think they want. So the next time your husband, lover, submissive or what have you, tells you he is about to cum… Stop him! I guarantee he will thank you for it later…

Have you ever wanted your husband (boyfriend or whatever) to be more attentive? More helpful around the house? Maybe you would like him to last longer during intercourse or just not lose interest before you are finished? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you should pay close attention to this blog. I created this blog to help women take control of their men and to turn them into better lovers, better, more attentive husbands (or boyfriends). If you read my posts and apply what you learn, you will be absolutely amazed at the results. I will even give a money-back guarantee! Okay, the information is free, but what have you got to lose? If you put into practice the things you will learn here, then I am sure you will gain a better, all around, relationship with your man. 

I will dedicate sections of this blog to training, cock teasing, orgasm denial, and even male chastity. I will teach you how to create the perfect husband, to have fun with your submissive, and to create a cuckold husband (if that’s what you want). So give my methods a try and I am sure you will be writing me to tell me about your success and perhaps some new ideas that you have found with which to torment your man…

I call them my four D’s…

Domesticate

Establishing a successful 24/7 female led relationship is a lot of hard work on both parties and on many levels. First of all you both have to agree that this lifestyle is what you want and worth the effort. Once you head down the FLR-road, there might be no turning back. Chances are that you yourself will appreciate the lifestyle more and more as you move along. Your husband/partner on the other hand may begin to dislike it once he realizes his entire life is changing and that it isn’t just a hot fantasy he can wank off to any more. In a female led relationship the hubby needs to be doing the majority of the housework and accepting this is a major challenge for most men.

The process of getting your hubby to accept his new role and take on the household chores is what I refer to as “Domestication”. It is important for the power exchange in the relationship. The domestication of your man is important for you to be able to feel “in charge” and for him to feel submissive. It’s what makes the dynamic in a female led relationship work.

Denial

In order to get the attention you need from your husband/partner as you domesticate him, you deny him what he loves most of all, his climax. I use a chastity device for this purpose but it doesn’t have to be a device as long as your hubby is 100% committed and understands the importance of you owning his orgasms. In the beginning you use his orgasms as rewards. You train him with orgasms the same way a dolphin-trainer will slip a fish to a dolphin for doing it’s jump. For example; after doing the appointed household chores to your liking, you tell him he has been a really good boy and as a reward he will be allowed to fuck you. You get the idea. Women have been using sex as rewards for thousands of years. The difference here is that he will know that it is a reward and that you’ll be doing it continuously with him wanting it to be this way.

As your FLR evolves you’ll want to make it harder and harder for him to get his rewards until you find a cyclus that suits your relationship. In time, if you succeed, this will become easier and you won’t have to reward him this way with the same frequency. He’ll learn to appreciate that the true reward is the lifestyle itself.

PS! Taking away his orgasms doesn’t mean that you have to limit your own. Feel free to have sex, masturbate or use your husband in any way you want as often as you like as long as you don’t allow him to climax. From my experience, involving my husband in my pleasure just enhances the effect of the denial. When you’ve had your pleasure and you’re completely satisfied, make sure you talk to him about why he can’t cum and which chores he has to finish to get his reward. When he’s extremely horny, be positive and talk about how you appreciate his efforts with the chores. This makes the conditioning of his mind go a lot faster.

Discipline

The same way you use orgasms as rewards you should also use discipline and punish him when his performance isn’t good enough. You can punish him in a lot of different ways. From simply prolonging the period without orgasm to a harsh bare bottom caning. I am not a sadist and I don’t take any pleasure from disciplining my husband. I do it because I know he needs it. It’s his wish not mine. My husband tells me he needs discipline from time to time in order re-enforce the power exchange between us. The punishments I administer also helps him correct his behaviour and the fear of them helps him to intensify his efforts to please me.

In a lot of the articles, stories, and blog entries you read from Dominatrixes online, you get the impression that bad boys need discipline and spanking is the only way to do that. I don’t agree. I use a variety of methods other than spanking. Very few of them involves hitting.

For instance, the one he hates the most is when I simply ignore him. Absolutely no violence is involved. My husband hates being ignored and it never takes long for him to figure out why he’s being ignored and to correct his behaviour. It’s very effective. I also quite often use what I call “suffer in silence”. I use it because it’s very effective, extremely easy for me to administer, it doesn’t make any sound (we have kids), and it lasts more than 30 minutes which actually gives him a lot of time to think about why he’s being punished. It’s kind of like a harsh spanking and corner time combined. When I administer “suffer in silence” I order him to go to our bedroom and “undress and cuff up”. I follow him upstairs and lock him spreadeagle on his back on our bed before removing his chastitycage. While doing so I make sure he knows why he is being disciplined. This is important. Then I finish up by rubbing a generous ammount of BenGay onto his cock and balls. If I’m especially angry or disappointed in him I slip some into his anus as well. Then I leave the room, close the door behind me and go downstairs for some quiet time with the newspaper or the kids. The effect lasts 30-40 minutes after which I release him and we cuddle up for some aftercare while he tells me what he has learned and how he is going to improve himself and his efforts.

When it comes to discipline, use your imagination and discuss the alternatives with your spouse. He needs to know what might happen and fear it. Keep in mind that it doesn’t have to be spanking.

Domination

Through Domestication, Denial and Discipline you will be the head of your household.

Give it time. My husband and I started on this wonderful journey over 15 years ago and our relationship is still evolving. It’s very often one step forward and two steps back but as long as you’re both committed to the task the results will come.

In a successful modern 24/7 female led relationship you’ll find very few spiked corsets, whips and thigh high boots. Usually there is just a strong, confident woman with an urge to be in charge and a confident husband longing to be submissive, both sharing the courage to challenge the old fashioned patriarchal society. They live this way because female led relationships simply works better…

“An obedient husband is a happy husband!”

Guided edging is a simple, easy, effort free method to deepen your lover's submission. Especially while he is naked and you are fully clothed, where it is obvious that his efforts are only for your entertainment, amusement, and training.

For him, commanding him to edge, is an exercise in obedience, humiliation, and vulnerability. Forcing him to perform one of his most intimate acts, for your entertainment, exposes his true helplessness to your dominance and his status as your pet/toy/slave/property. He will feel used, objectified, and humbled. It will be clear that his pleasure and sexuality are no longer his, but now yours. Yours to use, to train and torment him for your pleasure and amusement.

For you, commanding him to edge, offers the thrill of power, control, and ownership. He is submitting to YOU, obeying YOUR commands and hopefully satisfying your dominant hungers. You realize the satisfaction of leisurely watching him perform for you, at your command, while he is slipping deeper and deeper into your web of control - all at his own hands. He is basically aiding and abetting in his own enslavement, at your direction.

Demanding eye contact will further his humiliation and vulnerability.

Don't allow him any mental escape, place to hide, nor concealment. Looking into your eyes will force him to recognize and accept his situation, status, and future.

You want him fully exposed, honest, and vulnerable as you luxuriate in his submission, need, and desire to obey you. Look into his eyes and witness his unspoken love, desire, and surrender.

He will look into your eyes and see your hunger and steely resolve to own him, control him, and bind him in your web of love and dominance: knowing that his efforts are agonizingly frustrating for him and will only be rewarded in your pleasure and fulfillment, which is the entire point of this exercise.

You will both sense and share the quiet shift of power, his deepening submission, and your blossoming dominance.

Simply put, no. There’s a good bit of nuance that comes with that answer, though. I’m a typical type-A eldest daughter. I’m harder on myself than he would ever be. I have always been clear with him, and transparent here, that I was not interested in reciprocal discipline.

Now, does that mean I’m perfect? Absolutely not. But when I do have moments where I drop the ball and make a mistake, I function better in a space that is centered around conversation.

I don’t know that I have a great answer to this. They are hard enough to be effective and long enough to be memorable. The goal is consequences for misbehavior and those consequences are relative to the transgression. I’m going to use the example of being late because it’s something important to me, was one of the first rules I implemented, and is always a really good illustration point.