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"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

i appear to have made mortal nemeses with a pigeon

tumblr stop rooting for the pigeon

There’s good media, there’s bad media, there’s so bad it’s good media, and then there’s media that’s somehow all three of these things at the same time and I personally think that this category holds stuff like most decent reality tv, Bethesda games, and a lot of famous shonen manga.

It’s so annoying when I say I have an irrational fear or a phobia and people try to logic me out of it. I just told you that it’s irrational.

when I first made a lot of my internet accounts like my email and my Tumblr, I put my birthdate as 6/6/66 because I was 12-14 years old and an edgelord and a Murdoc Niccals kinnie BUT now I’m pretty sure all of my ad preferences think I’m a 60 year old divorced dad with erectile dysfunction

we could be receipts caught in the same wash cycle, in the same pocket

I just learned about the existance of “pretend to work” spaces in China where you can pay to pretend to work at a realistic looking fake office so that you can take selfies to pretend that you have a job and get your family to stop asking why you’re unemployed. Which is like such a capitalism thing that I have no joke to make about it.

we all know adult humans dont get enough enrichment but the other day i was walkin home past an empty playground and impulsively ran over to spin myself on this zipline merry-go-round contraption for a few minutes and it really did feel like it unlocked some neglected part of my brain. like damn we really should all go outside and play more. fuck. they werent kidding with this play time thing. have you guys heard about play time. it could be huge.

when the author describes someone dying and you can just tell they’ve never actually died by the way it’s written

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

got a giant and i mean GIANT fresh-squeezed strawberry lemonade at the farmer's market today. i'm talking like a full quart with a straw in it. very delicious. five dollars. nice. as i was leaving, laden with vegetables, a young man waved at me and asked where i had acquired my immense beverage. and after i pointed him toward the stall and informed him of the various prices and flavors, he looked toward the sky, basketball shorts flapping in the breeze, and bellowed to the heavens, "oh i am gonna SLUUUUUUUURP that." happy slurp that saturday everyone.

please do not look up to me. I am 1 inch tall. I'm down here. if you look up you won't see me

I REALLY LIKE THIS ART THIS IS SO CUTE I'M BEING HELD UP

mozzarella and parmesan is kind of like the age gap yuri of cheese

haha! why does my weather app say it's 29 degrees celcius!! in may!!!

hahaha just saw the number 32. thirty two degrees celcius. that's not a number i should see in england hahaha

I saw 33 for a few hours ago and certainty avoided the outdoors then !