¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I cannot stress this enough; PLEASE unmute :')

adult friendships are so dumb like yeah i think i can find a time to hang. how’s february 17th at 4pm

I say shit like "If my memory serves me" knowing damn well it serves the dark lord

guy who has ibuprofen: I have ibuprofen if you need it btw

how much are you allowed to store in jars, spread around your house?

As much as you like, but they can wander in at any time to smash the jars and take it

i don’t know how to explain to you that trespassing, breaking and entering, and vandalism would all still be illegal.

Thank you for injecting realism into the world where the economy works like a Zelda game.

The ginger ale stays during sex

hey sorry for getting really pissy at you earlier because I could hear you chewing. see I have a condition called [remembers pathologizing my behavior is unhelpful] it's actually because I hate you, specifically,

Today I encountered an especially pathetic Italian greyhound. His owner told me that a gust of wind once blew him into a lake.

surely summoning many ghouls would improve this situation