Any Constellation

[parachute opens up to reveal it is rainbow]

client: "he eats yams."

vet: "... yams?"

client: "yeah, yams."

vet: "just yams? nothing else?"

client: "yeah."

vet: "the only food that you feed your dog is yams? no supplements?"

client:" "just yams."

vet: *increasingly distressed* "you cannot feed your dog only yams, ok? you NEED to feed something else. that is a very unbalanced diet and could be what's making him sick."

client: "well what should i be feeding?"

vet: "dog food! kibble, canned, anything from a pet store!"

client: "but that's where i buy the yams!"

vet: "what?"

client: "you mean i have to feed a bunch of different brands??"

vet: "what?"

“You can fix it with glasses” yeah, cuz they’re a disability aid? But like, I still have to pay 160 bucks to use my own fucking eyes?

Like, by definition, if your eyes do not work without aid, you have a disability to see.

I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.

One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.

The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?

The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”

I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.

to travel back in time and

call child services

Fixed male cats are Very Prone to developing stones in their bladder, which can cause a blockage, which can cause death very fast. One prime way they show this is by not wanting to use their litterbox because the stones hurt, so they associate that pain with the litterbox. They may also seem to have abdominal pain, no energy, blood in the urine, difficulty/straining to pee, or not producing any pee at all.

I cannot stress enough how much of an emergency this is. It will not resolve without vet care and it is deadly if left untreated.

Sorry to be a wet blanket on a funny post but I nearly lost my cat to this years ago because I didn't know the signs. Thankfully he was okay after a couple of nights at the vet, but if I'd known the signs sooner I could have acted before it got so serious.