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tbh the first step of recovery is to stop feeling kind of proud about how fucked up you are. your martyr complex is not an endearing quirk itβs the fatal flaw that makes your friends feel like garbage and will sabotage your whole life.
if you canβt fix it youβve got to stand it being the last line of the brokeback mountain novella is so crazy it makes me feel like my guts are falling out. if you canβt fix it youβve got to stand it. jesus fucking christ
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authors notes: there is absolutely no one true meaning intended for this piece, but I guess my thoughts while making it were the plain, boring and literal way you talk about the world after seeing something traumatic , or the way things seem to lose all meaning and significance . and also the way you minimise an event to make it sound like it's not so bad , the way you remove detail from the memory.
like .. there is something over the river . there is something unspeakable over the river . when you recount it , you have to make it seem so small . it's just a body. the state the body is in can't be made out like this . you hide the details from yourself to forget how bad it really looked . you hide it in general - so insignificant you could miss it entirely ! it was just a body and The Something that killed it looming , and birds flying away .
and the world could be full of colour , but you can't see it that way any more . the grass is just grass . the trees are just trees . the fish in the river that's just a river are just fish , and that's just a body .
Also SPOILERS for anyone who wants the solution to the eye-spy:
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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turnnoffyourmind
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