Friendly Neighborhood Spider Man

clicking 'stay signed in'-buttons used to mean that u would stay signed in

''what if you regret it'' then you will expirience regret - a normal and unavoidable part of the human expirience.

the more you twist yourself into a pretzel to avoid regret the harder it will hit when it eventually catches up to you.

Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"

I love this post

The horse thinks as it scratches an itch

not ignoring you not replying to you but a secret third thing

forgor

I always think of the description I saw years ago: Self-imposed deadlines don't help me, because I know the person who set them, and they're full of shit.

you people aren't CASTING

kill the shift manager in your brain

you are not wasting time you are vibing. you are not being unproductive you are literally chilling. make a grill cheese with cheddar cheese and slather a piece of the bread with some honey and maybe you'll relax

...ok but what if the shift manager is actually right

you are a minor so i will say this with absolute confidence as an adult: there is not a single time on the history of this planet that a shift manager has ever been right. and more seriously, in this metaphor: treating yourself like shit for not being productive doesn't actually make you more productive. it makes you treat yourself like shit.

sorry im not giving into the cutting out sweet treats propaganda. life is hard enough

wanna hang out [remembers it's rude to put expectations on people] it's cool if not [remembers people like to know they're wanted] but I'd really like it if you did [remembers selfishness is bad] we can do whatever you want though [remembers that handing someone a blank canvas isn't as effective as providing a suggestion to bounce ideas off of] like sucking each others fingers for example

hopefully i'll get to do something other than endure soon. that would be really nice

i've got the kind of eyebags that make people in movies say 'you look like hell, detective. go home.'