I am a changed man.

Brexit

the Irish word for Santa Claus literally translates to “daddy december” and I don’t know how to feel about that

great now i have to kinkshame ALL of IRELAND

Cups with no holes at all to avoid spilling

*isnt universally loved* i guess i’ll just Die

I want to be told happy birthday, but I hate telling anyone it’s my birthday.

A sex toy that complains you’re not meeting it’s needs…

Me: *plays video games to avoid my problems* Me in game: *puts off main quest to avoid my character’s problems*

When my nipples get hard I cup them with my hands and literally try to “calm my tits”.

Knives make use of cutting edge technology

marry someone whose laughter sounds better than your favorite song

not to be cynical about true love but could anything really sound better than boney m’s rasputin

Bras