ambushed thoughts

The Love Competition: So Beautiful 

Tragic beauty!

such a feel good tune!

The world has become a patriarchal misogynistic place. In the Middle East particularly patriarchy is celebrated. Women's oppression stems mainly from sexual oppression. There are absolutely no teachings regarding women and their sexuality in schools however as children girls are taught principles of what would make a "good girl who would later become a good wife". Virginity is a social construct. The hymen is used in the Middle East as a tool of objectification. In the Arab world where religion is the dominant factor in governing the country people are accepted to abstain for sex until marriage. Both men and women are expected to follow that rule. I will not get into the impact of that on sex trade and sexual harassment. Girls are brought up knowing that their most prized possession is what's between their legs. In a culture where a women's virginity represents her family's honor and where honor killings are common; girls are taught to never give sex. Women are taught that they don't have a sex drive or desire and that they're not supposed to. They are brought up thinking that if they have any physical attraction to the opposite sex then there's something wrong with them. On the other hand though, men are expected to take sex. In Egypt men who have pre marital sex are accepted in the society; even celebrated. The men are seen as studs. Powerful. Macho. However women are taught to be timid. To be shy and quiet. To obey. Once a woman gets married she is instantly turned into their husbands' sex slaves. They have no say in when, where and how they will have sex but it's their duty as a wife to obey and fulfill their husband's every need because that's what makes a good wife. They need to endure the pain as long as the experience is pleasurable for the husband and it goes without saying that she would get absolutely no pleasure from it. This is one angle to see how virginity and lack of sexual education contributes to the rape culture. As the world is becoming a smaller place this ordinary belief is slowly changing. Men and women started having a relationship before marriage however it's not your normal relationship. There can't be a physical component in that relationship because then she won't be a "good girl" and according to the boy and his family, she won't make a good wife or mother. From here I've come to the conclusion that the "hymen" is a shiny wrapping paper that covers your gift with which you're free to do whatever you want. The notion of the hymen and virginity is just another way to commodify sex. Since men aren't expected to abstain from sex till marriage, an alternative would be finding pleasure through sex workers. In a country where prostitution is criminalized and where women are brought up to think of themselves as objects this can be quite traumatic. First of all the sex works don't have any form of health care and don't undergo regular checkups so the chances of STDs spreading is very high. Another thing to consider is that abuse the sex workers are subjected to. The men tend to forget the sex worker is a human and starts treating her as an object and since there is no support hotline for sex workers, they just have to put up with it all. Another thing to think about in regards to women's oppression is that different cultural practices that are being done every day in the name of protecting women such as Female Genital Mutilation or Breast Ironing. What gets to me most about these horrific crimes is the cause they're being committed in the name of. In the case of Breast Ironing which is quite common in Cameroon; women iron the child's breats over and over again to prevent them from growing. That way it won't seem like she's matures and she won't get sexually harassed as she lives her day to day life. With FGM which is most common in Egypt, Sudan and Somalia, girls' genitalia are cut to reduce sexual libido and preserve her virginity for when she gets married. They cut the girls in the name of the family honor but what they fail to see is the psychological and physical damage this practice does to the child. In this time where the human rights agenda is being brought to surface; it's time to pay attention to women's rights. It's time for women to speak up and start a movement to end their objectification and oppression.

Blessed be.

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