Thrawn characters as Onion headlines
Thrawn: Area Man Expected To Work With These Incompetents
Thrass: Prodigal Asshole Returns
Eli Vanto: Man Who Thought He’d Lost All Hope Loses Last Additional Bit Of Hope He Didn’t Even Know He Still Had
Thurfian: I Fucked My Way Into This Mess, And I’ll Fuck My Way Out
Ar'alani: Relationship Not A Power Struggle, Woman Who’s Winning Reports
Ronan: Area Man Just In Bad Mood Because He’s Tired And An Awful Human Being
Haplif: Guests Forced To Pretend Wedding A Good Thing
Darth Vader: Study Finds Expressing Anger In Unhealthy Ways Incredibly Satisfying
Samakro: True Courage Is Knowing You’re Wrong But Refusing To Admit It















