Eitneagrafaíochta.

I am a broken car. I am a terrified child. I am a lonely E.T. in a lonely planet with no sun. I am Jack’s sense of failure. I am Jack’s lack of surprise. I am Jack’s dettachment from reality. I am Jack’s exhausted existence. I am Jack’s bitter bile taste that stays in your mouth after puking.  I am the heavy weight compressing your throat and lungs, leaving you drowning and suffocating in dry land. I am the loneliness you never wanted to call home.

So, I'm a Brazilian. Yeah. Not that much into the big party events my folk is known for, but this year... Man... this year... A lot has changed for me, and THIS party in particular, the BLOCO CALANGO CARETA (prude lizard?), part of the carnival on my city, is a huge family-get-together kind of event. My family knows part of the crew that makes this dream-come-true. And this year, I finally am breaking free from my anxiety issues and all that stuff. So, I HAD to have a HUGE COME-OUT. This, ladies and gentlemen, was one of the most amazing days of my life. No joke. This. Those are just pictures of me, the party itself I left registered a bit at my instagram ( @anamaldos ).

This last year, a lot has changed for me. I'm dealing with my anxiety issues, am grabbing all chances I get to live a happier life, while exploring and discovering what I truly enjoy doing and being. These pictures are proof, for me, that joy can be found if you know where to look. I'm a Brazilian, and not that fond of parties. Yeah. But this one, this dream-come-true, part of our famous Carnaval, the Calango Careta group, was one of the most amazing experiences to take part on. Fully moved by friends and families, an explosion of creativity, beauty, music, fun, at the core of my hometown. It often bothered me to be around large groups, but this massive reunion and the fact that I was completely incognito while still calling lots of attention to myself (something else that usually bothers me), well, even getting lost and alone at some points was a fun experience. People laughed, some had their minds blown by my looks (i did the makeup myself), kids freaked out, dogs kept barking at me looking confused af while enjoying being petted, some took pictures of me, others took pictures with me, some just kept telling me I looked like a masterpiece. Thus saying, while in a situation, an event, that once used to make me stressed out and panicking, the way I transformed for it and have been working with my troubles, with the great people that I met and all the mood of the party, I truly had the time of my life. So here goes, for all who struggle, for all who think you could never find amusement on some things, even when you want to: keep on trying. Keep on searching. The right crowd, the right day, the right way, some time might come to you. Maybe all you need is to try being different from what you thing you are or what others think you are, or what you think others might think you are. And maybe, just by doing what you want to do, what you like to do, maybe you'll find the "you" that you really are. A "you" that you like, a "you" that you recognize in the mirror. A "you" that is more yourself than the one you got so attached or chained to for so long.

This last year, a lot has changed for me. I'm dealing with my anxiety issues, am grabbing all chances I get to live a happier life, while exploring and discovering what I truly enjoy doing and being. These pictures are proof, for me, that joy can be found if you know where to look. I'm a Brazilian, and not that fond of parties. Yeah. But this one, this dream-come-true, part of our famous Carnaval, the Calango Careta group, was one of the most amazing experiences to take part on. Fully moved by friends and families, an explosion of creativity, beauty, music, fun, at the core of my hometown. It often bothered me to be around large groups, but this massive reunion and the fact that I was completely incognito while still calling lots of attention to myself (something else that usually bothers me), well, even getting lost and alone at some points was a fun experience. People laughed, some had their minds blown by my looks (i did the makeup myself), kids freaked out, dogs kept barking at me looking confused af while enjoying being petted, some took pictures of me, others took pictures with me, some just kept telling me I looked like a masterpiece. Thus saying, while in a situation, an event, that once used to make me stressed out and panicking, the way I transformed for it and have been working with my troubles, with the great people that I met and all the mood of the party, I truly had the time of my life. So here goes, for all who struggle, for all who think you could never find amusement on some things, even when you want to: keep on trying. Keep on searching. The right crowd, the right day, the right way, some time might come to you. Maybe all you need is to try being different from what you thing you are or what others think you are, or what you think others might think you are. And maybe, just by doing what you want to do, what you like to do, maybe you'll find the "you" that you really are. A "you" that you like, a "you" that you recognize in the mirror. A "you" that is more yourself than the one you got so attached or chained to for so long.

So, I'm a Brazilian. Yeah. Not that much into the big party events my folk is known for, but this year... Man... this year... A lot has changed for me, and THIS party in particular, the BLOCO CALANGO CARETA (prude lizard?), part of the carnival on my city, is a huge family-get-together kind of event. My family knows part of the crew that makes this dream-come-true. And this year, I finally am breaking free from my anxiety issues and all that stuff. So, I HAD to have a HUGE COME-OUT. This, ladies and gentlemen, was one of the most amazing days of my life. No joke. This. Those are just pictures of me, the party itself I left registered a bit at my instagram ( @anamaldos ).