welcome home

i hate it when the ball is in my court get that shit out of here

they’re saying you’re finally going to become a real person like everyone else. they just announced it

theyre taking me out back behind the shed presumably to give me a medal for my valor and heroism

you open up my cranial cavity and it's just 2-3 inches of murky greenish water, stagnant, algaechoked, mosquitoes buzzing, a few small frogs, cybernetic pondcomputer mechpiloting the rest of me, sloshing a little this way and that. you open up one of the frogs' skulls and inside it's me! looking up back at you, waving, unsmiling

*offers you a cigarette except out of a crayon box and it's a crayon*

want more juice but i drinked it all. this is, i cannot stress this enough, utterly fucked

it's important to have bits that aren't good and also nobody likes and also aren't funny

Ok sooooo. and DON'T be mad. We're going to boil you.

Born to don't wanna. Forced to gotta

being 20 is insane like ur not even approaching death yet. unlike me, 25,

guy who gets increasingly confused when an 80’s song fades out so he turns it up louder and louder and gets blasted so hard by the next song starting that he dies