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@matzahball

For a second I didn’t realize it meant “high” as in a stoner--I thought “High Geologist” was like a rank of geologist or something and he was insulted you would challenge him to naming stones

happy 12th birthday none pizza with left beef

Happy 13th birthday none pizza with left beef

my executives are dysfunctioning girl

“ur so chill” thanks i am completely disconnected from reality right now

2020 for me has just been "am I stressed because of a global pandemic and an increasingly fascist far-right government, or am I just struggling to exist under capitalism" and I'm really getting tired of it

I’m going to defeat you with the power of friendship and this gun I found

maybe the real treasure was this gun i found along the way

A level of empathy that screams out that you have to fight to make things better even if it doesn’t benefit you.

oh this one of them good posts where the basic message is “treat people better” and this causes the most controversy

YA contemporary be like a quirky girl named ari (short for arithmetic) and her boyfriend peter (short for jupiter) have to help save their best friend abby (short for cabbage). They never swear but there will be one (1) HEAVILY implied sex scene and a single background character named Perso Nofcolor. It will sell 12 million copies.

my dad was outside feeding the slugs cucumber slices earlier

he was like ‘thats the same one from last night!’ (he was feeding the slugs cucumber slices last night too) im like man you’ve been spending too much time with the neighbourhood slugs if you can tell them apart

Friendship comes in many forms. Don’t get in the way of a man and his friendly slug friends

you’re right sorry dad for my crimes

MAN [IN THICK ACCENT]: Black cat bring good luck.  Not bad luck.  I have black cat - See, him face - And I am not dead today: Good luck!