"Bitches, in fact, be more random than computers."

character misses their shot and the villain goes "ha! you missed." and the main character goes "did i?" and then shoots the villain again while they're frantically looking around the room for what the hero could possibly have aiming for instead

i hate the notes on this so much so many people are saying shit like "and then the hero shoots the villain while they're looking around!! XD" THAT'S WHAT THE POST ALREADY SAID. THAT'S THE ENTIRE JOKE.

maybe... they DIDN'T miss part of the post...! (starts frantically looking around)

(i shoot you while youre looking around)

and then while i'm frantically looking around you shoot me for real this time XD

Omg you missed part of the post

did i? 😏

(frantically looks around)

(i raise my gun to shoot you while you're distracted but the bullet i already fired ricochets all around the room and hits me in the back of the head, killing me instantly)

Oh. Shit.

have you guys ever seen a crocodile with its fingies out

Maybe one reason time seems to speed up in adult life is because when your full time job leaves you roughly 5 hours of free time a day plus two days off a week your life turns into a sort of monotony that makes the days blend together and creative pursuits move in slow motion as you can only get to them when other your commitments are done.

When you look back and think damn 2019 wasn’t that long ago where did the time go? Job. Your Job took it.

They just don’t release the hounds like they used to

in my day someone just let the dogs out. never did know who.

I agree , practicing medicine without a medical Doctor license is unlawful

if you see me liking contradicting headcanons for the same character just know it's because I do not give a fuck and I have an active imagination #hewouldsaythat

sometimes it’s not about ‘would he say that or do that’ it’s more like that would be hilarious if he did because I have a jester’s heart