Woof

(wanting to make a post about something but it reveals too much about your personal life) i have had a negative experience

wii sports is so good it's weird they havent't made wii sports 2

6 hour workday maximum i’m not kidding, if it can’t be done in that timeframe it doesn’t need doing.

this doesn't apply to jobs like childcare

If i worked in childcare and my 6 hours were up i would start putting babies in ziploc bags and shipping them to Turkmenistan listed as endangered fruits and vegetables

28 year old tumblr users will look at you and say do you remember thwomp day of 2013 when everyone was posting thwomp from mario 64 in different audio

I wash the cats’ water bowl every other day and every time I do it they swipe at me and pace around me like they are soooo thirsty and I have just stolen their precious water from them that they’ve been spitting food into and then when I put the clean and full water bowl back down they just sniff it and then don’t drink any. Okay so you weren’t thirsty and you just didn’t trust me is that it

I think that the cats understand that the laser pointer is a game because when I do something weird with it or ignore one of the cats for too long not making the light go near them they look up at me like what the hell is that about

thinking about the time I made a post saying I was watching American Psycho and some overactive good citizen came sprinting from the woodwork to go "make sure you remember that the book was written by a gay man and the movie is directed by a woman and it's not glorifying Patrick Bateman!!!" yeah cheers man I was def going to go start killing people with an ax if you hadn't said that

mostly thinking about this because I'm currently reading Fight Club. can't wait to base my entire worldview off of this, the narrator seems like he really has it together

hold up. this book is actually really funny.

I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO UNMUTE,

people will have double-digit opinions on kink discourse and still manage to not know what BDSM stands for

big dick super mario

big dick super mario

I love the death grip after the toy was fixed up. Lessons were learned. Try to steal it this time you fucking bird. I dare you.

Was not expecting this many of you to resonate with Millennium Death Plinko

One of these days the horse is gonna come out of pinko with opposable thumbs, and then we're all in trouble.

You’d think that once you finally get long term access to a cat and your yearning to have cat access is fulfilled that you’d become slightly less obsessed with seeing people’s cats but no if anything it gets worse

Don’t like people pointing out that it no longer makes sense in modern society to pretend a banana is a telephone

my bioengineering team is working on a rectangular-slab-shaped banana variant to address this very issue