...and don’t wear it out!

✨How To The Chips✨

Step one: procure an unsuspecting victim in need of new eyes. Be sure to handle the creature firmly, but not unkindly as you explain what needs to happen.

For illustrative purposes, I’ve chosen Pepsi.

Step two: gather your materials. You will need, at minimum—

- a hot glue stick (two are preferred)

- a lighter

- an on call therapist for the Furby

- a freezer

It sounds like the setup to a DIY Saw trap, but I assure you this is the recipe for success.

Step three: use the lighter to heat up the end of each glue stick. I like to rotate the glue stick as I hold it up to the lighter so there’s no dripping and the melty bit comes out even.

You want to wait until a bit of the end turns clear. One at a time, melt the ends and place them onto the eyes like so. You might need to hold the stick in place until it stays put on its own.

It’ll look like this ✨✨✨✨

Step four: The Freezer…

Once the glue sticks have been given the opportunity to dry, place your creature in the nearest freezer for around 30 minutes (or more…depends how stubborn the glue ends up being. You might need to try this multiple times).

Once the Furby is thoroughly frozen, and the eye adhesive weakened, yank at the glue sticks until the eyes come out with them.

At this point, the rest of the process is up to you.

Some people reuse the eye chips. I recommend either painting on the backs of them after removing the paint (which is annoying as fuck by the way and I haven’t found an efficient way to do it) or a drawn or printed a design that’s placed in the eye cavity, then a clear chip is placed over it.

But my favorite way to do this, by far, is to order 12mm flat backed eye chips from Etsy sellers and just. Pop those in. I advise buying from sellers who use furbies to model the eye chips…that’ll get you an actual good fit.

And Bazinga! Your Furby has cool new eyes.

She's the keeper of secrets and healer of hearts

Finally got around to making a valentine's day custom. Her wings were a bit of an experiment and I couldn't be happier with the result!

employee (completely blank expression): “No.”

partner (autistic) (socialscript.exe encountered an unhandled exception) : “…Uh. Um. Sorry?”

employee: “We don’t have that.”

partner (wondering if perhaps he put too much of the authentic accent on the word and that’s what’s throwing the guy): “You don’t have…(pronouncing it whiter) carnitas?”

employee (face still unreadable): “No.”

partner (looking at the near-full hotel pan of perfectly normal carnitas in its usual place on the other side of the glass) (noticing this employee looks unfamiliar) (maybe he’s a new guy that just started five minutes ago with no training?) : “The…pork?” (pointing at it)

employee: “We don’t have pork.”

partner (beginning to wonder if he’s the one that’s losing it) (desperately looks to the menu on the wall behind the employee) (the menu lists carnitas as a protein option) (the word “carnitas” is not crossed out or taped over or otherwise adulterated) (carnitas have been on the standard menu since at least 2016) : “Okay. Um. Are you…sure?”

other employee working the toppings part of the line (familiar) (have seen her before) (she has cool earrings): *gives the new guy a strange look, nudges him aside, and scoops the carnitas onto partner’s bowl before continuing with the other toppings*

- the employee keeps very strictly kosher/halal/vegan and refuses to handle pork (understandable, I respect that, but if you’re gonna work at a place that serves pork I do kinda feel like when someone orders it you’ve just gotta tap in a coworker to do it for you)

- someone did something gross to the carnitas and the employee is trying to warn people not to order it (??? throw it out then? also, three weeks in a row???)

partner (well aware of what he’s getting into with this guy now): “Hi. Could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and pork?”

employee: “We don’t have pork.”

partner (demonstrating a level of patience only a public school teacher could have): *points at the pan of carnitas* “Could I please just have some of that?”

employee (after several slow, confused blinks): *points at the same pan* “That’s steak.”

partner (looking at the hotel pan they’re both pointing at) (it is filled with shredded meat of a pale beige color) (at the other end of the row of pans is another pan containing dark brown, lightly charred meat chopped into small pieces): “Okay.” *deciding he’s willing to play in this fantasy space if it gets the job done, he points at the first pan again* Then could I please have the steak?”

employee: *starts to reach for the pan at the other end containing the actual steak*

partner: "Oh—no, sorry, this one please?" *points at the first pan containing the carnitas*

employee: *blinks, then just walks away and starts helping the next customer in line, leaving partner's bowl unfinished*

other employee with cool earrings: *rolls her eyes at new employee, takes partner’s bowl, and fills it with carnitas herself*

new theories:

- the employee is a bridge troll who will only dole out his delectable carnitas to those who prove themselves worthy by correctly answering his riddles three