normalize hand tattoos for people with boring, normal careers 2023

i love how delusional some articles of clothing are, like you read the tag and its like “hand wash only/tumble dry on low” son you are a cotton tshirt. youre going in the warsh and whatever happens in there is in gods hands

t shirt that says “i used to be worse”

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3am

thinking about my optometrist who was treating my eye infection and said “if it hurts, you can rinse your eye with boiled water. look at me - look at me. i want you to understand that i mean water that has been boiled and has since cooled down. not boiling water. do you understand?” like i’m so grateful for this man ensuring that I wouldn’t destroy my eyes by pouring boiling water in it, because it is an adequate assessment of my intelligence

this is a man who has experienced The Public

“Look at me”

did they ever consider giving Smeagol a fucking lozenge

I wonder what animals think roads are.

they call it thunderpath why dont you read a warrior cats book you fool, you imbecile

ibuprofen and sink water is the midnight version of coffee and a cigarette…