an airplane carried me to bed

(guy experiencing the consequences of his actions) yeah i don’t know why these things keep happening to me i must be cursed or something

(guy who is cursed) yeah I'm sure all of these things that are happening to me are just the consequences of my actions

you ever know someone and you think “god i love you. i wish we could’ve known eachother when we were carefree and 11. i wish we could’ve played together as kids”

Holy shit...

also please note that this scientist is in fact the retired man who invented the xbox.

really digging the sprout growing on top of your head. yeah man you got cute little leafs and everything

love the word "methinks". like lol. yeah. me sure is thinksing.

Methinks therefore meam

whenever i see another tiktok girlie talking about how she wishes to have been a fangirl in 2010s i feel like a seasoned veteran overhearing a foolish youngin boasting about wanting to go to war for glory and adventure. you naive little idiot. you know nothing. you understand nothing. you weren't there in the trenches. i have seen things, terrible things. i cannot plug in my phone charger at night without being plagued by the visions of Him

thinking about how much work i could get done if i would do it

i’m like if a man and a woman had a baby and it grew up in a tumultuous society with undiagnosed mental disorders and unrestricted internet access