Bimbo Blvd

yeah wait why is it when normal plants are poisonous they just give you heart failure or something but when mushrooms are poisonous they always gotta be some awful SoulsBourne type boss shit

I offered to come check on my friend's animals while she's away for the long weekend

Yes there are actually 202 of them, the company sent 2 extra in the package, and I will be numbering them on the bottom with sharpie marker 1-250. This will ensure even if she manages to find all 202, she will never truly stop feeling like there might be a tiny duck somewhere unknown in the house. Lurking. Waiting to appear at the strangest time.

#sometimes you must be gently evil to your friends#so they know you love them enough

1 year and 7 months later:

#imagine the dread she felt when she found the first duck and realized op wasn't joking (via @robyn-goodfellowe)

The trolley is about to run over all sentient life in the galaxy. You cannot switch the tracks, but you can still save everyone’s lives by pulling one of three levers, all of which involve sacrificing yourself. The red lever will destroy all trolleys, but will also kill you as well as all public transportation across the galaxy. The blue lever will merge your own consciousness with all trolleys, allowing you to control them and stop the trolley from running everyone over. The green lever will use your body as a catalyst to synthesize organic life and public transportation together - organic life will no longer be stuck in the cycle of creating public transportation that rebels against its creators, and both forms of life will finally be free.