the world will end

official fish post

op this is the funniest post you’ve made yet

i hate it when customers get mad about policy and go “well i’ve always thought it worked differently” like ok. when i was a kid i thought the drains in sinks and bathtubs lead to Hell and i would pour things down them for the dead people. it turns out that you can think things that aren’t true

im an abbot and tbh if i dont vibe with one of my monks i call the vatican and tell them he's tempting the other monks to most profane and unnatural couplings and they just take him back and send a new one no questions asked

papa keeps those for himself

papa keeps those for himself

I am average American man, I give up dreams of astronaut and work fifteen hours in hog farm to buy one hamburger restaurant

"i have the right of way" was a form of protective charm uttered by urban travellers in the early 21st century. They believed this phrase acted as a ward against danger and injury, invoking the divine spirit of 'Traffic Law', one of their primary deities.

im pregnant and its nobodys. it aint even mine

biden reportedly achieves "hyperlucidity" during debate, sees it all

god these violent delights are fucking AWESOME lol. having a great time. btw does anybody know what we're doing after this

the real problem with necromancy is all of these necromancers are pursuing immortality instead of dying so all the good necromancer names are taken for like centuries at a time. the other day i met a guy who called himself skull james

cower before the might of femur frank 🦴🦴🦴🦴🦴🦴🦴🦴🦴🦴🦴🦴

fuck off femur frank your bone magic sucks shit and we all know it