i live in my own heart matt daimon

can you imagine having a small dick and going to buy your Gay Water and the box tells you youre racist

Whenever I see some anon asking an artist if it's "okay to take inspiration" from their art it makes me want to make some kind of manifesto or billboard or PSA or skywriting campaign to undo whatever damage strange litigious illustrator types inflicted upon the most basic foundations of the creative process. We can't let them get away with this

Man Im sorry for snapping at you , uts just that I only got 8 hours of sleep last night and I only had like, two pandcakes with strawberrys and whipped cream and like three premium sausags for breakfast

we have a potential monday on our hands

Every vampire is all "oh drinking blood is better than any food, drugs, even sex" but I don't even believe them because all of them were literally made before the invention of really good drugs and before we got all the nice foods from the new world, so I don't trust any of their opinions. Lestat has never ate a potato and Armand hasn't ever even tasted tomaotes. The only guy I trust is Daniel Molloy who has probably tried every drug on earth, has definitely ate nice food and would be a valid judge on how good drinking blood really is.

I think modern day Duke Nukem would be a total chaser because he’d come out of whatever coma Randy ‘Greaseball’ Pitchford has him in and he’d hear about trans women and be like “Damn… they’re making new chicks… I gotta get a piece of that action.” And he’d pull his notepad (labeled ‘SHIT I GOTTA TRY’) and crayon out and write ‘TGIRL PUSSY’ directly under ‘NEW MCRIB’ and ‘CONCUSSION’

this fucking girl on bumble sent me like three shy anime girl images and said like “uhmm… hi you seem really cool 😖😖 i’m so nervous” and it fr pissed me off so bad i deleted the app

all the people saying “you fumbled this girl! i want her” how does it feel to be a sucker