the real reason howl kept his castle moving was tax evasion

This sounds like a joke but I read the book this is the literal reason

#excuse u he was also dodging the draft and his ex

HE WAS ALSO DODGING THE DRAFT AND HIS EX!!! I FORGOT!! LEGEND

idea: scene with two characters eagerly stripping each other clearly about to bone, but they keep getting interrupted by finding carefully concealed weapons in each other’s clothing, so they keep just unholstering, revealing and unstrapping increasingly ludicrous amounts of hidden guns and knives as the clothes come off, and it’s lowkey killing the mood a little

Alternatively: it's not killing the mood at all but it's totally making both of them giggle like they're twelve and possibly get lowkey competitive in a subconscious way about who has the most to drop.

...Oh

It’s not that there’s already a bunch of weapons hidden underneath the sink that makes it awkward so much as that there’s so many weapons hidden underneath the sink that they fall out of the cabinet with the unmistakable sound of a knife-alanche, and then the other person comes in like “I can explain!” and you’re just dead-ass standing there with your own armload of weapons like “I can also explain.”

Married version is shoving your hand in your partner’s clothes when you’re out of weapons because you KNOW where their spare is.  Or wearing a weapon in a spot you can’t draw from yourself because its now spare storage for your spouse’s weapons.

i know we all poke fun at quincey's dialogue for being the most stereotypical yeehaw cowboy slang imaginable, but it is genuinely so cute to me that he actually plays that up because he knows lucy thinks it's funny

odysseus absolutely does present a threat to penelope if he perceives her as at all unfaithful, and i feel the unfairness of this, and i think people tend to undersell how much tension at least potentially exists between odysseus and penelope. but i'm also like. his reaction, all speculation aside, his actual reaction in the odyssey to her flirting with the suitors is delight, because he immediately ascertains that she is running a con. sorry that they're so in-sync in spite of the forces that try to drive a wedge between them, including their own misgiving hearts. sorry that they invented homophrosyne ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

would i, tumblr user thee odysseyofhomer, lie to you?

...

this is the only funny addition to this post

I love that the yearly return of Dracula Daily has become a Tumblr holiday and that it has evolved from "My Good Friend Jonathan has sent me a letter" to "My Good Friend Jonathan is stuck in a time loop, let's make paprika hendl about it."

it sucks that Murder She Wrote has the reputation of being simply "old woman solving cozy mysteries in a small town with an unreasonable number of murders" when like less than 1/3 of the episodes per season even take place in Cabot Cove. a much more apt description would be "globetrotting genius writer solves murders while charming people everywhere she goes, occasionally romancing wealthy men" Jessica is basically like if sherlock holmes was also socially aware