i believe in magic ☆

when people are like "i didn't come here to make friends" i'm like thats sooooo unrelatable. i am always on the look out for some girl friends. I would be in that hunger games cornucopia like "your ex boyfriend did WHAT."

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one thing white men are gonna always do is be named Michael

walking down the street and saw someone walking the other direction with a pig in a harness and leash and I stupidly asked, "is that a pig?" and he replied, "I sure hope it is, it was a pig when I left the house"

Hey if youre in a pack of 6-9 lil teen trans dudes in pride capes running around the streets downtown and some ancient shambling grandpa just shuffled past yelling "Hell yeah, lil queer dudes! Hell yeah!" that was me. Yall looked rad as fuck. Sorry I made it weird

outfit repeater, movie rewatcher, same post mutiple times reblogger

just saw a deactivated mutual's post on my dash. that's my dead wife's corpse you're all dragging around

I also reblog this guys dead wife.

It’s that time of year again so here is your yearly reminder that the world isn’t ending and people don’t hate you. The sun is just setting at 6 pm.

Please take your vitamin D

HEY SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE GIRLIES, ITS OUR TURN TO ENDURE THE DARK DAYS NOW, BUT STAY STRONG. THE WORLD IS NOT ENDING; THE SUN IS JUST SETTING AT 5-to-6 PM. BUT SHE WILL COME BACK TO US SOON. TAKE A VITAMIN D AND HANG IN THERE.

the water in hotel showers will do things to the texture of your hair you didn’t even know were possible

i was born in the absolute RIGHT generation if i had to have children i would KILL MY SELF!!!!

Please stop he is drowning…..

Someone is eating a fresh orange in this McDonald's. I smelled it and my head snapped up like a hunting dog. That smell doesn't belong in this wicked place