Faz Freddys Farthole

not my whoville ass eating roast beast

@markiplier

this isn’t about him

Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement

maybe cain wldnt have killed abel if they had video games to healthily channel the violence between siblings. unfortunately back then the only smash brothers they had was smash brothers head in with a rock

Tattoo artist and I were debating over where to place my thigh tattoo. I, pants pulled down and half a buttcheek out in a large airy room in front of the windows said nervously “haha, I know I have a lot of thigh to work with” and they go “OMG yes I feel so bad for skinny clients because their art gets all crowded. You could get some nice big pieces on your arms and legs though”. Hell yeah my friend. Yet another W for the fat crowd tonight.

maybe next year instead of amateur fireworks on every block for hours and hours we can try holding up a single beautiful flower