there's no perfect time, so why not today?

my orc bard in Pathfinder is named Gronk Ballspeaker

not to be a history fucker on main but the whole mystery of the lost colony of roanoke is so fucking funny

hi! op here. I’m fucking hyperventilating

we did it! we saved the fucking whales!!!!

Do I wanna ask about the gas leak..?

love is in the air? wrong! gas leak AND weed smoke.

Please do not smoke weed right next to the gas leak it is a significant safety hazard.

don't worry! we have the gas leak in one room and the weed smoke in another. it's very secure 👍

You remembered to close the door to the gas leak room before you entered the weed room, right? Please tell me you remembered to close the door to the gas leak room before you entered the weed room

sorry I can’t hang out tonight. yeah I’m busy freaking out over things that might not even happen. yeah it’s gonna take a while

hate hate hate how sites are increasingly trying to make right click saving images impossible. facebook, instagram, reddit (app), pinterest*, etc... all make you jump through hoops just to save an image. can you guys not please. how ddo i make them stop. can we get one of those EU regulations or whatever that makes them all comply, or are we going to have to wait for global socialism for that. ugh

oh look, the exact tool that would have saved me SO much time and energy trying to find images hidden in the source code 🙃

Hey Girl I mean All Pronouns

Hate how much A Little Treat has infested me. Any small discomfort and I'm immediately like oooo maybe exchanging money for goods and services will fix this situation.

every time i complain about being single and having no hoes i want everybody to remember that i intentionally and strategically sabotage any opportunity i have to open myself up to a romantic or sexual connection because i’m a pussy and an idiot

Human bodies are so weird like the upper half consists of every single vital organ and the lower half is legs

Like we have commodified human connection to a degree where if you go beyond smalltalk you're oversharing and if you talk too deeply about your life you're traumadumping and if you get visibly upset you're manipulative and if you care too much you're codependent and if you want to talk about anything heavy you're expected to go hire a therapist because your friends shouldn't have to deal with that stuff and yet we're all sitting around wondering why so many people are lonely...