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guy who speaks in convoluted and nested turns of phrase and at first you think he's just doing it to be a dickish pseud but soon it becomes clear that his internal monologue simply is that jumbled, hopelessly and irrevocably beyond righting, that he deserves a great deal of your pity. perhaps you should even start some kind of patronizing charity fund with the aim of founding an institute researching cures for his terrible, offputting mental deficiency. but you won't. you won't.

my partner doesn’t use pet names nearly as much as i do, which is very funny because i will crack my gay little knuckles and say some shit like “good morning my sun and moon, my loveliest boy, my baby my sweetheart my darling dearest” and he will reply “hello adrian”

has anyone else noticed that its awesome to have an anthropomorphic animal representation of yourself that you can draw in situations

I love gay people theres a guy in my neighborhood who named his one singular dog “simon and garfunkel”