My goals are beyond my understanding.

Number of times the Tour de France passed through

President Donald Trump on Wednesday made a claim that lit up social media, given how unlikely it seemed. 

Except this one was ― sort of ― true. 

Trump bragged that he had a conversation with President Teddy Roosevelt, which seemed unlikely given that the 26th president died in 1919 and Trump wasn't even born until 1946. 

But earlier in the day, Trump visited the Theodore Roosevelt Presidential Library in North Dakota, which is opening this weekend and features an interactive AI projection of the former president.

i have access to powers and locations that he cannot access independently; he needs my help to navigate the world i've brought him to

i simply found him outside and abducted him one day

there are many cats in the world, but this one is the best and my most favorite. why? because he was available to abduct that morning and for very little other reason.

i have a much greater understanding of this world than him, but he has unshakable confidence in his ability to figure it out and i find that really cute

the power dynamic is fundamentally unbalanced, but i let him have a little audacity. a little combativeness and sass. as a treat.

some humans are needlessly cruel to cats or take them in for a short time before neglecting or abandoning them. but i have chosen to love and guard this one with my life. because i think he's neat.

You could give him divine treats at any time that taste so much better than food it might drive him a little mad wanting more. You do not give them to him on any schedule he can discern.

You can lay a dry powder on the ground which causes him to lose his mind a little and behave differently for a short time should he inhale any of it. Sometimes this is inside of his entertainment for the day, and he becomes your entertainment.

You create illusions on flat surfaces that look like prey or other things, illusions that move and sound like they are real and yet when he touches them he finds only cold, flat walls.

You give him prey he cannot eat, prey that are bright colors and make strange sounds and may look nothing like real prey and yet he is enticed to chase and kill, especially the small, uncatchable red dot.

You sleep in a nest of impossibly soft material, and allow him to share this space to sleep beside you, and even to sleep there when you are gone.

Sometimes you disappear and he can find no way to follow or escape in your absence. You create and destroy openings in solid walls at your convenience.

Married the love of my life at 50.

Got my Class A CDL at 59.

You've got time.

she also goes limp like a dead thing when I pick her. very boneless animal