I’m Just A Girl

Why do they even make apps for ADHD. You want me to use my 24/7 handheld immediate distraction device? To manage my 'gets distracted too easily' disorder? Ooooh we developed the perfect tool for managing your anemia. Its hosted in Dracula's castle. 👍

Picked up my phone to consult my task list for today and now I'm reblogging this instead, case in point

if I had a dollar for every time one of my friends sent me this post asking “is this you” I would have enough money to buy a really awesome six scoop ice cream. WITH sprinkles

swag won’t pay the bills but apparently neither will your degree

You're laughing. Olaf fucking died and you're laughing.

It IS true that being on here gives you a tumblr accent. This morning my mother asked me something and i replied "i don't know i've never heard these words in that order" and she nearly choked laughing. It wasn't even that funny

at my old job i had a coworker who was tired and made a coffee with like 6 or 8 shots of espresso and i just casually went up to them like “are you trying to meet god?” and not only was this absolutely hilarious to them but they brought it up in future conversations they thought it was so funny but to me this was just as casual as saying “woah that’s a lot of coffee”

Being funny on Tumblr and then going to be funny in real life is like traveling to a foreign country and baby the currency exchange rate is biased in your favor

It is possible that somewhere off the coast of Newfoundland there is an iceberg shaped like a giant dick.

AND THE PHOTOGRAPHER COMES FROM DILDO, NEWFOUNDLAND

Mr. Pretty from Dildo, Newfoundland photographed a Giant Penis Shaped Iceberg

This reads like an article in the postillion

There’s something about this photo that wasn’t funny then, but is totally funny now…

unmute for the love of god please it's amazing

to think I would have just swiped past on mute, therefore not hearing pure unadulterated joy

how do you make someone holy

you beat the hell out of them

my 96 year old catholic grandma told me this

Official graveyard post

This is canon