🌈

I will add that he contracts Yuna and Svetlana to do research on players and coaches. They get so good that the league starts requiring that he sign contracts saying he will never acquire ownership of any teams. And when teams sign him on they MUST agree to sensitivity training before he even starts his evaluations.

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

my job is crazy bc in the same yr they will tell me relocation is possible but I’ll take a pay cut, and then also tell me they’re sending me to Australia and Spain. Girls please pick a lane do we have the budget for me to move or not

also insane that they did not warn me. Surprise! In SEVEN WEEKS I’ll be in Australia. When tickets are at an ALL TIME HIGH. Babe I need to plan for that this is madness

im so sorry that you're doomed by the narrative but i really need you to answer my message on Microsoft Teams

ok but ignoring the fact they just forgot to cover hudsons lil gun hip tattoo let’s actually say shane has that tattoo. he got it when he scored his first hat trick and got so fucking wasted with the team for the first time ever that they convinced him to let one of their girlfriends give him a tattoo to celebrate and he’s like okey in his lil drunk haze of being around so many people but so happy and full of adrenaline and when this girl asks what he wants he goes “a gun” and someone calls out “why!” and he smiles coly and is like “because I’m a good shot” and everyone’s hootin and hollerin and someone grabs his shoulders and is shaking him and messing up his hair and he’s laughing along and then after a minute the girl comes with a little sketch of a gun and goes “where do you want it?” and he starts to freak a bit because oh is he really going to do this and then the girl is like “what about on your hipbone? that’s hot” and she obviously flirting even shane realises that but then an old timer on the team (bros like 29) that shane secretly has a crush on is like “hell yeah rookie, girl is right that’s hot as fuck” and shane just nods in agreement and then he’s being positioned by the girl and suddenly his sweats are pulled down below his hipbone and a stencil of the gun is pressed to his hip and he doesn’t really remember much after that but he does remember waking up with it and thinking i wonder what Rozanov will say and then pinching himself at that thought.

To be fair to Lestat (briefly) (and not even all that fair if we are being honest) I too would be having a crash out of epic proportions if I fumbled Louis de Pointe du Lac

my grandfather was talking to me about a book he read on how politicians gave control to rich people and it fucked america and he was like "oh yeah this reminded me of a video I watched. It was Robert Reich. Do you know who Robert Reich is? He was clinton's secretary of labor" and I just nodded silently because I didn't know how to explain to my grandpa that yes I know who Robert Reich is. I watch his son psychologically torment improv comedians