Just Another Walking Contradiction

everybody start complimenting brown eyes NOW ‼️

every person i’ve ever been with has had brown eyes and every time i say their eyes are pretty they say “huh, really? i’ve never heard that before. i think they’re kinda boring” are you FUCKING kidding me i could stare into your eyes forever and not be bored for a second

of all the posts i’ve ever had breach containment this is the one that made me genuinely excited I hope this gets notes fr i hope it lands on the dash of my brown eyed boyfriend and reminds him how beautiful he is

Hmm, maybe I should go back and rewrite everything 🤔

The alphabet will start at 9

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

I really wonder what the demographic outcome would be of trans people involuntarily getting "the body you'd have if practicality wasn't a concern" like what percentage of the resulting bodies would be obviously nonhuman?

As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams she found herself transformed in her bed into a cyborg werewolf with dragonfly wings.

This is SO cool

I love the implication that, as Larry is an "unpaid trainee", the dog is paid.