dreams are my reality

It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.

And that’s when you met me.

“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”

“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.

“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”

“Yup,” I said.

“I… I died?”

“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.

You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”

“More or less,” I said.

“Are you god?” You asked.

“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”

“My kids… my wife,” you said.

“What about them?”

“Will they be all right?”

“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”

You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”

“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”

“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”

“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”

“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”

You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”

“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”

“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”

“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”

I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.

“You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”

“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”

“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”

“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”

“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”

“Where you come from?” You said.

“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”

“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.”

“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”

“So what’s the point of it all?”

“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”

“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.

I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”

“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”

“No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”

“Just me? What about everyone else?”

“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”

You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”

“All you. Different incarnations of you.”

“Wait. I’m everyone!?”

“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.

“I’m every human being who ever lived?”

“Or who will ever live, yes.”

“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”

“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.

“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.

“And you’re the millions he killed.”

“I’m Jesus?”

“And you’re everyone who followed him.”

You fell silent.

“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”

You thought for a long time.

“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”

“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”

“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”

“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”

“So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”

“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”

And I sent you on your way.

so idk I have a headcannon that Feyre gets info and gossips with the Suriel while in the Spring Court…and when she gets sad the Suriel just spits info out at her to try to make her happy….idk i drew this at like 1 in the morn forgive me.

this tutorial was requested by many cute patooties based on these posts  1  2  3 . 

Difficulty : Easy if you’re familiarized with gif making and basic  picture editing   

I don’t think Jurian is completely evil. And before you walk away from this post forever, hear me out.

During the War, Clythia, Amarantha’s sister, who is said in ACOTAR to be “as vicious and wretched as she [referring to Amarantha]” fell in love with Jurian, who was a warrior and “commanded mighty human armies”.

It’s heavily implied in ACOTAR that for a High Fae to fall in love with a mere mortal was beneath their station and often frowned upon. Just think about how the Autumn Court executed Lucien’s lover, who was a lesser fae. Imagine what they would have done to a mortal.

That said, Clythia did indeed fall in love with Jurian. That would mean Jurian must’ve had some incredible qualities for a mortal—qualities that caught the eye of a High Fae.

In ACOTAD, it was stated that Jurian betrayed Clythia “After months of stomaching being her lover…” Why? Because being Clythia’s lover had been the way to gain information regarding the fae armies. I feel like this part would be something that might parallel to Rhysand’s personality. Jurian was doing everything he could to ensure his side’s victory in the world. He was doing everything he could to protect the mortal lands, to defeat and crush the fae that wanted to destroy the mortals. And this strikes me as what Rhys would do. Rhysand was willing to give up every part of himself, physically and mentally, if it meant protecting Velaris and his friends. Yes, Rhysand wouldn’t have done what Jurian did to Clythia—he “tortured and butchered her, crucifying her with ash wood so she couldn’t move while he did it. He left the pieces of her for Amarantha to find.” However, the point being is that while Jurian can be evil and sadistic, he also seemed to be selfless in his cause, and could apparently be charming to the other gender and species. Another parallel to Rhys here would be the fact that Jurian put the good of the mortal lands before himself. He obviously didn’t want to be a lover to Clythia—didn’t want to get into bed with her—because he already had Miryam at the time, based upon what Mor said in Hybern in ACOMAF, “They [referring to Miryam and Drakon] were mated and married the night you slaughtered Clythia.”, which shows that Jurian must’ve been lovers with both Clythia and Miryam at some point in time.

In addition, before Drakon allied himself with the humans, Miryam also fell in love with Jurian, and Jurian loved her back. Once again, the charm towards the other gender and species (Miryam was half human, half fae) showed. Obviously, if Miryam had fallen in love with Jurian, then he must’ve had some redeeming qualities.

Of course, during the War, Jurian’s obsession to win the war and take down Amarantha resulted in Miryam falling in love with Drakon, the two of which happen to be mates. And this is where Jurian’s parallel to Tamlin comes in.

According to Mor, Miryam broke up with Jurian before completely falling in love (and going all the way) with Drakon. And based upon the implications in ACOMAF, Jurian still desires Miryam (by the way he kept asking Mor where she was). He wants revenge on Drakon, for winning the heart of his lover, and he wants Miryam for himself. In this situation, he’s extremely similar to Tamlin. Feyre had initially fallen in love with Tamlin, before she realized how damaged he’d become from Under the Mountain. Miryam had initially fallen in love with Jurian, before she realized how the War and his obsession with Amarantha had caused him to go insane. Feyre ended it with Tamlin (through the letter she sent him after she was rescued by the Night Court). Miryam ended it with Jurian. Tamlin, refusing to believe that Feyre no longer loves him, does everything he can, including making a bargain with Hybern, in order to ensure that Feyre is beside him in the Spring Court. He has no thought for what Feyre wanted (to have time to herself in the Night Court, to not be hunted like a pet, to have a say in her life). Similarly, Jurian wants Miryam for himself. He wants to wreak vengeance upon Drakon, with no thought of what Drakon’s death might do to Miryam. He spares no thoughts for what Miryam might want. Tamlin puts Feyre before the good of the world. He sold out the Spring Court and the mortal lands to Hybern, for the return of Feyre. Similarly, Jurian doesn’t care what happens to the rest of the world (shown by the fact that he allies himself with Hybern, his past enemy during the War, in ACOMAF) as long as he gets revenge on Drakon, and gains back Miryam.

In Conclusion: Tamlin and Rhysand can be said to be two sides of the same coin. And if Jurian parallels both of their personalities, where does that put him?

Tamlin puts what he wants before the importance of the world. Rhysand puts the important of the world leagues ahead of what he wants. Jurian puts the importance of the world well ahead of his own well-being, meaning he is willing to sacrifice parts of himself to make the world right. However, he puts what he wants (Miryam and revenge) ahead of the importance of the world.

And with that said, I don’t think Jurian is completely evil. Yes, he’s cruel and sadistic and appreciates the suffering of others (as shown by the quote in ACOMAF, “Jurian laughing softly at the blood gushing from Cassian’s ravaged wings”), but he has some redeeming qualities, notably selflessness. And I think there’s a good chance that Jurian will defect to defending the mortal lands again in book three, if he manages to override his urge for revenge and to realize that he should respect what Miryam wants for herself.