I hate cigarettes so much I hate that smoking is becoming cool again I hate that we're becoming contrarian hipsters about this disgusting habit that has literally killed so many people and destroyed so many lives I'm so serious we need to become absolute killjoys about this again it's time to go 90s scolds on cigarettes until the scourge is wiped out entirely.
It's not even that they kill you. Lots of contrarian passively suicidal people hear that they kill you and they think "oh cool. Whatever."
They make your hands cold. They give you little asshole pucker wrinkles around your mouth. They kill you so fucking slow. Make it so your lungs hurt all the time. They make every cold a chest cold that takes months to go away. They suck your money out bit by bit, every day forever. Just be a little bit more poor forever until they kill you in fifty years. They kill you for fifty years. Just a little shorter of breath, just a little colder, heart beating a little too fast. And the longer you go, the harder it is to quit.
You're depressed and nicotine is an anti-depressant as well as a stimulant. It helps ease that crushing void in your soul just a little bit. Puts a little bit of energy in your steps. Until it doesn't. Until all you can think about is when your next smoke break is. Until you're sixty five and in the hospital because you need emergency surgery on an clogged artery and you're attempting suicide by willful medical neglect because getting the surgery that will save your life will mean not smoking a cigarette for three whole days.
















