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Joy and whimsy detected! This post is joyful and whimsical!

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@alohdark
La auténtica felicidad.
@joy-and-whimsy-official
Joy and whimsy detected! This post is joyful and whimsical!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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you learn something new everyday. unless you're a historian. then you learn something old
look. look at this beautiful sword meme. i’m going to cry
@petermorwood
I saw and reblogged this one a while back, but it’s always worth repeating, and this time I’m adding a bit of background info comparing common fantasy sword features to the Real Thing (with pictures, of course.)
Leaf-bladed swords are a very popular fantasy style and were real, though unlike modern hand-and-a-half longsword versions, the real things were mostly if not always shortswords.
Here are Celtic bronze swords…
…Ancient Greek Xiphoi…
… and a Roman “Mainz-pattern” gladius…
Saw or downright jagged edges, either full-length or as small sections (often where they serve no discernible purpose) are a frequent part of fantasy blades, especially at the more, er, imaginatively unrestrained end of the market.
Real swords also had saw edges, such as these two 19th century shortswords, but not to make them cool or interesting. They’re weapons if necessary…
…but since they were carried by Pioneer Corps who needed them for cutting branches and other construction-type tasks, their principal use was as brush cutters and saws.
This dussack (cutlass) in the Wallace Collection is also a fighting weapon, like the one beside it…
…but may also have had the secondary function of being a saw.
A couple of internet captions say it’s for “cutting ropes” which makes sense - heavy ropes and hawsers on board a ship were so soaked with tar that they were often more like lengths of wood, and a Hollywood-style slice from the Hero’s rapier (!!) wouldn’t be anything like enough to sever them. However swords like this are extremely rare, which suggests they didn’t work as well as intended for any purpose.
I photographed these in Basel, Switzerland, about 20 years ago. Look at the one on the bottom (I prefer the basket-hilt schiavona in the middle).
A lot of “flamberge” (wavy-edge) swords actually started out with conventional blades which then had the edges ground to shape - the dussack, that Basel broadsword and this Zweihander were all made that way.
The giveaway is the centreline: if it’s straight, the entire blade probably started out straight.
Increased use of water power for bellows, hammers and of course grinders made shaping blades easier than when it had to be done by hand. This flamberge Zweihander, however, was forged that way.
Again, the clue is the centre-line.
Incidentally those Parierhaken (parrying hooks - a secondary crossguard) are among the only real-life examples of another common fantasy feature - hooks and spikes sticking out from the blade.
Here are some rapiers and a couple of daggers showing the same difference between forged to shape and ground to shape. The top and bottom rapiers in the first picture started as straights, and only the middle rapier came from the forge with a flamberge blade.
There’s no doubt about this one either.
The reason - though that was a part of it - wasn’t just to look cool and show off what the owner could afford (any and all extra or unusual work added to the price) but may actually have had a function: a parry would have been juddery and unsettling for someone not used to it, and any advantage is worth having.
However, like the saw-edged dussack, flamberge blades are unusual - which suggests the advantage wasn’t that much of an advantage after all.
Here’s a Circassian kindjal, forged wiggly…
…and an Italian parrying dagger forged straight then ground wiggly…
There were also parrying daggers with another fantasy-blade feature, deep notches and serrations which in fantasy versions often resemble fangs or thorns.
These more practical historical versions are usually called “sword-breakers” but I prefer “sword-catcher”, since a steel blade isn’t that easy to break. Taking the opponent’s blade out of play for just long enough to nail him works fine.
NB - the curvature on the top one in this next image is AFAIK because of the book-page it was copied from, not the blade itself.
The missing tooth on that second dagger, and the crack halfway down this next one’s blade, shows what happens when design features cause weak spots.
So there you go: a quick overview of fantasy sword features in real life.
Here’s a real-life weapon that looks like it belongs in a fantasy story or film - and this doesn’t even have an odd-shaped blade…
Just a very flexible one…
If you want more odd blades, Moghul India is a good place to start…
i could not ask for a better addition to my meme post than blade education thank you so much
i dont have "attack patterns" i dont have "strategy" i hit it until it dies & if it doesnt i try again
DEATH IS MERELY ANOTHER OBSTACLE AND NO AMOUNT OF YOUR CALCULATED PREPARATION WILL OVERPOWER MY "DO FUCKALL" TECHNIQUE
the secret cheat code for women is realizing you dont have to date men
this doesnt just go for lesbians it goes for bi women and straight women too. i cant even count how many times straight women have told me “i wish i was a lesbian so i didnt have to date men” but guess what … u Dont have to date men
to be clear this also isnt necessarily saying ‘go date women instead!!’ its just saying…. u dont have to date men. u dont have to be dating women in order to not date men! in fact if ur not attracted to women at all please dont date women just as a substitute for men. but if dating men isnt making u happy… u dont have to do that. u dont have to make a space in ur life for men
im singlehandedly destroying every mans mental health by telling women its ok to not date them

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rereading your own fics/wips is a very slippery slope into finding out you actually have to finish your fics if you want them finished
Those who have seen both Star Wars and Stargate SG-1, time to ask the Important Question™
In a sass-off between these two, who would win
Obi-Wan Kenobi
Jack O'Neill
Idk man this is impossible it's probably a tie
Please reblog for visibility and a bigger sample size, I need answers so I can die in peace
This result is so fuckin funny
In Man Trap Sulu has a pet plant that is just a hand with a glove. I love Star Trek.
Arthur: Can you keep a secret?
Merlin: Do you know anything about my life?
Arthur: No I do not.Good point.
crazy how much i could get done if i didn't have "doesn't want to do things" disorder

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merlin, just got back from dying: Did you miss me while I was gone?
arthur, just spent a week rampaging through the city looking for him: You were gone?
You basically summed up every episode
Rool
all tumbrlinas come from a common ancestor
time is moving so fast and being alive on this earth is so scary and im not even in love. whatever. *watches another movie*
An early 20th century postcard against the coercion of motherhood and promoting the usage of contraception.
She is going to hit that Christian baby for a home run.
i feel like the youth should be reminded that the point of shipping is not for a ship to become canon. the point of shipping is to collect all the canon crumbs like starved mice, run away cackling and make some fun little scenarios with them just for the hell of it.

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*this meeting could have been an email voice* this cgi could have been a puppet