seasons don't fear the reaper

so we know that humans share 50% of their dna with bananas. and also, they say one in four humans are related to genghis khan. using this information, we can determine that genghis khan was 200% banana

this is how political statistics work I think

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

#let’s evolve with mama

you really do turn thirty and everything is different and sometimes better. if you're in line for thirty stay in line bro

oh so some people can just listen to a song and understand the lyrics

what if you’re all lying

clicking a pen over and over again is actually fun as fuck its a shame it makes everyone in a 30 foot radius want to kill me with a rock