Dream with me for a minute... of childhood. For clarity's sake, the *perfect* childhood. Mommy and Daddy tuck you into bed and tell you that you're their special girl and they'll always be there to protect you and keep you safe. They tell you that monsters aren't real, so hug your teddy bear, darling, and go night-night, because it's time to sleep. And you do: you drift off to sleep safe and sound, comforted by their words because Mommy and Daddy said everything's allright.
It doesn't occur to you, a child, that Mommy might have a nighttime drinking problem and Daddy watches a lot of porn. Your brain can't comprehend those things at face value, let alone the fact that those are very human, very common, very normal problems that some grownups have. Mommy and Daddy wouldn't let these secrets slip out. They wouldn't want you to know the real people behind the facade; it would ruin your childhood, undermine your blind faith in them, and embarrass them immeasurably.
As you grow, the more deviation from "normal" you can handle. You come to understand your parents are as human as any other two people you meet. The mask slips a bit: you've seen Mom and Dad in a heated argument (or two or three). And while you hopefully never discover your Dad's affinity for porn, you do find the secret stash of liquor hidden above the fridge: you never actually see it consumed, but its levels keep going down. And monsters may be real after all: you've developed a sixth sense as to what types of behavior by an adult are never, ever acceptable. You know to trust your gut, to get away, and if necessary, to fight like hell.
In short, living this life has taught you a few things. You're growing up.
Now, imagine if your scope of vision (or instincts) had never broadened and developed. Your world would be very small. What someone tells you would be accepted... simply because the words were said. People don't lie. People don't hide. People are who they say they are, and that's that.
It is that childlike acceptance of given information that makes you set up camp in one side of a fandom, and noticing that the mask can slip and let in conflicting information that needs processing that makes you side with the other.
In the Outlander fandom, there are Antis (which also includes Sam-only fans, Anyone But Cait fans, and Book Mommies). And then there are Shippers (who sometimes call themselves Believers or Waiters).
Antis accept everything they are told. (#bestfansever) They accept words at face value. If Sam and Cait say they are not together, that's the truth. If Cait says she's engaged, she is. It's not Sam, because they would have told us. If she is seen with a dark-haired man, and says her fiance is shy and is a "civilian"... well, then that mute non-actor with dark hair and sideburns is her guy. And after August 10th 2019, who else could be "husband"? It's gotta be that guy, whose name they've since told you is Tony McGill. And aren't they cute. You guys, their wedding even made a list of the most lavish ceremonies of the year!
Shippers question everything. Why didn't she name her "fiance"? Why are there no wedding photos? Why hasn't she named her "husband"? If it's Tony, why do they live in separate countries? Why do they not relate as husband and wife? Why do they not light up around each other? Why is he constantly on his phone next to a such a statuesque beauty? Why do she and Sam share a car and a home and vacations and hotels and social media times? Why do she and Sam light up like Christmas trees together, both in front of and behind the cameras? Why has Cait unmistakably worn maternity outfits several times in different years?
Antis believe Sam hasn't found the right one. Bless his restless heart, he tries. He'll find someone special yet. And they squee whenever they see a pretty face near him. Oh gosh, they hope Sam and X have a great time in Y. He deserves someone, you guys. If X wasn't the one, then X 2.0 surely is. Squee! Or... or... he's gay. Yes that's it, we don't see him with the right one because Hollywood is still stuck in the 1940s and he can't get straight roles if he comes out.
Shippers believe that Sam found the right one on September 11, 2013: that the stars aligned over a casting room in LA when Sam met Cait. That she is his entire world, and he is hers. That even 6.5 years later, they cannot look at each other without love in their eyes. In the air between them. In their body language. In their banter. In not-so-wee-Sammy's involuntary response to the very nearness of Cait. And that's how we know he's a heterosexual male. He. Cannot. Help. It.
Antis believe that Cait has no children because they've never been told of any. Therefore, any focus on Cait's midsection is body shaming at its deplorable worst. How dare you.
Shippers acknowledge a developing bump in 2016. We even saw Chris Albrecht notice it on the red carpet. Some noticed a svelte Cait with Sam in early 2017, and then a developing bump in 2017 (which even unmistakably found its way into season 4 Claire's wardrobe, and later Terry Dresbach vaguely complained about season 4 fittings and alterations on Twitter). We don't need to be told she is a mother, because we've seen it. Many of us are mothers ourselves, and are thrilled for Cait... and Sam. Because no one has to TELL us that they are parents. We know they are.
Antis have a childlike need for Cait and Tony to have a happy, perfect life together. And Sam will be happy when he finds his match. That's all they can process: happiness and perfection.
Shippers have let go of childlike ideas. We know there's a whole hell of a lot that we aren't being told. We know that monsters do, in fact, exist in a seedy, dirty, greedy business called Hollywood. We know that people lie. We know Sam and Cait are not perfect, and we don't need them to be. We like them because we recognize their flaws and cracks, and we know we have them as well. Make no mistake about it, we suspect they are part of the problem: we accept that their hands are dirty in all of this too, in ways we don't yet understand.
Antis who have to be told what to think, where to look, and cannot conceive of a hidden agenda?
Or Shippers who will readily admit that heroes are not perfect, that there is a seedy side to this life, and who are shrewd enough to question what they're told?
Because Antis are against all of that.
And that's the problem: they never grew up and still use name-calling as a weapon.
You want to find the REAL #bestfansever?
We've been attacked, mocked, vilified...
AND WE'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
We'll be here to cheer for Sam and Cait's extraordinary love, accept that they hid their lives from public view, and forgive them.
Neither were Mommy and Daddy.
