homo academicus

Sorry imagining Ilya being able think about Shane’s eras based on what he smelled like. The first hookup he smells like generic soap & Old Spice deodorant. Hookup era he smells like the luxury cologne Ilya knows he got for free from a brand deal. Post Rose Landry he smells like some ridiculous $500 bottle of unisex cologne that his stylist put him on. At the cottage Shane smells like nothing but sweat & sunshine & the body wash they’re both using every day. Once they’re officially together Shane smells like his boring organic shampoos & fancy citrus deodorant

something i really love about ilya is that despite his Everything on both the inside and outside he’s still genuinely a confident person like it would be easy for people to be like aww see ilya was always actually a softie i bet he’s actually sensitive and insecure and all that brash showmanship was just an act but ilyas like No. I am that bitch. hes actively crying but hes nodding to himself like okay yes my life sucks balls but at least im hot at least i am the shit. pausing his crying to flex in the mirror it makes him smile for a moment and its not just about looks either like he genuinely thinks hes so hilarious and charming and talented and successful it’s incredible

marly at some point believing roz's girl in montreal isn't real and has to broach the subject gently. like, it's okay, man, you don't have to pretend to have a girlfriend. a lot of guys on the team don't. ilya, nearly in tears, She Is Real Marly.

Ilya is so lucky that Shane proposed. Ilya would have been a nervous fucking wreck for the entire day beforehand. Wake up in the morning. Look in the mirror. Today's the day. Sob. Breathe. Okay I'm good! Turn around and Shane's hair is all in his face, still asleep on Ilya's pillow. I am NOT good. Cold shower. Breakfast that Ilya does not eat. Morning jog wherein Ilya runs like someone is chasing him. Lunch that Ilya does not eat. Drive out to the cottage. Make Shane pull over because Ilya needs to dry heave on the side of the road. "Baby we don't have to drive out today if you're not feeling well." "NO WE HAVE TO." Get to the cottage. Immediately send Shane on some kind of extended fool's errand. Shane wants to stay because Ilya is SHAKING and he is so worried. "No my love I'm fine it's just the breeze off the lake haha." It's thirty fuckig degrees Celsius. Shane finally gtfo's. Yuna, David, Rose FUCKING Landry all descend to help Ilya set up. Well. Ilya is supposed to be helping but he is standing on the deck fully dissociating. Yuna brings him tea. "Are you going to throw up the tea?" "Yes probably." Yuna takes away the tea. 800 electronic tea lights on the deck. In a parallel Ilya has no way of understanding, he both puts on and takes off a suit. Yuna fixes his curls into the hockey boy quasi-mullet that magnetizes Shane's fingers to Ilya's hair and says, "Oh, you're so handsome!" Ilya cries big fat tears. David tells a story about how his proposal to Yuna almost didn't happen because David went to the hospital for heart palpitations that morning. Thank You David That Does Not Help Even Remotely. Ilya slav squats on the lawn for twenty minutes. Shane's car pulls up in the driveway and everyone hides while Ilya vibrates in the entryway. Shane has no less than thirty grocery bags hanging from his arms, still complaining about why the grocery service cancelled their delivery last minute. Ilya leads Shane and all thirty of his grocery bags onto the deck. Shane is doing his favorite thing (bitching) and his second favorite thing (Follow Ilya) so he doesn't notice his own mother tiptoing behind him collecting the grocery bags he drops like breadcrumbs. There is an Oscar-winning actress hiding under his sofa and Shane does not notice because Ilya takes him on the deck and drops to his knees and Shane is like, "Haha, right now?" and then he sees that Ilya has a look on his face like he's just been told the sun is never coming up again and he has his hands on Shane's knees and he is saying, "Shane. Please?" and Shane puts his hands on his head and says "Oh my God baby what's happening to you" as Ilya melts and melts and then from the depths of the cottage someone who sounds a lot like Shane's very own father is whispering "The ring the ring" and when he looks back down Ilya is fumbling a ring box out of his pocket. The first picture of their proposal is Shane glaring into the middle distance with a hand cradling Ilya's curls like a baby while Ilya ugly sobs into his knee.

also its important to me that shane Knew he was gay the whole time, it was this Thing itches in the back of his brain, something he couldn't look at head on or really think about. bc admitting it was like giving up. but its not that he didn't Know. shane hollander didn't have to have rose tell him hes gay for him to be like "oh huh really i hadn't noticed" bc he Knew. and you can see it so clearly on his face in that scene how he knew. how thinking about it scares him, how Really looking at this part of himself feels impossible. but again shanes not just completely unselfaware, he knows this about himself he just Hopes he can make it work. that it doesnt really matter. he likes rose Enough, he likes girls Enough, it can be Enough

ilya in the other books is going, “I see that you’re gay. I see that you like this person. I see that you are miserable. You should do something about that.” and he stands there and waits for someone else to say that they notice him too and nobody ever does.

If ilya threw the first pitch at a baseball game it would be reminiscent of the carly rae jepsen pitch because he would think he would be good at it and just not prepare and cliff would be laughing his ass off and making fail edits on his instagram stories of the ball only making it halfway. ilya would look at the jumbotron and be like Cut Camera. Cut. camera. And shane would be on the phone with Rose like what do i do… its everywhere… the video… and Rose would be like Oh! I don’t know! I don’t date guys that would be bad at throwing a baseball :/ anyways lets do brunch soon! And yuna would call ilya and be like Honey. Yeah. I saw the footage

post from beloved mutual made me just clock that for all the stupid man child fratboy Ilya tropes we seem to get from fandom, in reality one of the many moments of him being responsible and very aware of his responsibilities and grasp on how to handle the things around him is actually one of The Big Ilya Things. it's how he manages his father's medication and care as his disease progresses and how he's always on top of what the situation is because he knows he has to be