I laugh at my own jokes.

Hi everybody, I really don’t know how to start this because I’ve never done this before but I’m at my wits end.

If nobody knows my situation, I currently live in my mother’s basement with my abusive ex. I know this sounds stupid, but the situation is complicated. I’ve been with him for a couple years, and sponsored him to move to Canada. He didn’t show his true colours until he came here. I’ve been emotionally manipulated, screamed at, and have felt my life was in danger on many occasions. I am also Asexual and a pre-op transman. This is something he “understood” when we got together. Despite this, he used to cry about not getting enough sex, throwing tantrums, and forcing me into it. I’ve had sex solely to please this man because otherwise he would be in a bad mood and it put me in a constant state of stress and walking on eggshells. I have rape trauma because of this, not to mention severe gender dysphoria because of it. This isn’t something I enjoy talking about, but I’m putting myself in a vulnerable position because I can’t handle this on my own anymore. 

I recently told him that it was over and I can not deal with the abuse any longer, but neither myself nor my mom can throw him out because of the sponsorship agreement. We are legally required to support him until the period ends, so we don’t really want to start any shit with him. Just the other day I was yelled at directly to my face. A 5’10’’ muscular grown man yelled at me, a 5’0’’ short boy. At the top of his lungs. I was scared to death, but luckily my mom had my back and we managed to calm him down. It doesn’t help that he’s always drinking either.

Due to this we have started to separate finances. I don’t currently work because of college. I also have struggled to find a job for literally as long as I’ve been alive. I’ve been officially diagnosed with anxiety, depression, OCD, BPD, and to add onto it the PTSD from the rape. Covid really isn’t helping either. I’ve been trying to work through it with a therapist, but it’s honestly really tough. 

Regardless, this isn’t about me but my dog, Lulu.

I love her to death and she got me through so much, but she is so very allergic to everything. 

I’ll post screenshots below of the receipts, allergy test, etc.

But because we are trying to be more financially independent from my ex, I can no longer pay for her dermatology treatments. I recently ran out of the anti-inflammatory pills to keep the itching down and have to get more, but I know it’ll be really bad. She’s already itching her eyes again and it’s only been a couple days. I’m planing to call the dermatology office tomorrow to schedule another appointment.

I’ll post every Invoice we’ve gotten so far and a couple pictures of Lulu.

Please, please reblog if you can’t donate.

If I can’t come up with the money to pay for her dermatology bills, I’ll have to give her away to someone who can and I really, really don’t want to do that. 

I’m prioritizing her health over my own right now, because I love her so much.

Every dollar counts. I’m also Canadian, so USD counts as more.

Thank you so much everyone, I appreciate any help I can.

My Paypal: paypal.me/Shelly95

Here’s some Lulu to lighten the mood: 

GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 15

You’re prostituting yourself out for cheese burgers again, aren’t you? A man’s gotta eat, Julian.

And then just. 

back to the good ol mojave