Spiderman Doesn't Like Chainsaws

What's your favorite crocodile? Mine is the Cuban crocodile.

There are 23-26 species of crocodilia (depending on how you split a couple of species) in three families: Alligatoridae, which has the American and Chinese alligators and all the caimans; Gavialidae, which has the gharial and tomistoma, and Crocodylidae, which contans the true crocodiles.

Cuban crocs have been my favorite of the true crocodiles for many years, ever since I got to work with the pair at Louisville Zoo when I was... much younger.

They were such babies back then...

I love that they gallop!

This is footage from the now-defunct Smooth Waters Wildlife Park, not a pet.

You probably love them too, even if you don't know it- if you've been around the internet long enough, you've likely seen this video.

These are baby Cuban crocodiles being hand-raised as part of a conservation project at the Dragonwood Conservancy, not pets.

Those laser noises are baby Cuban crocs making an affiliative call (not a distress call) when their caretaker shows up!

Theodore Major (1908–1999), “Skeleton With Flag”

The pyramids were built by contemporary workers who received wages and were fed and taken care of during construction

The Dendera “lightbulb” is a representation of the creation myth and has nothing to do with electricity

We didn’t find “““copper wiring””” in the great pyramid either

Hatshepsut wasn’t transgender

The gods didn’t actually have animal heads

Hieroglyphs aren’t mysteriously magical; they’re just a language (seriously we have shopping lists and work rosters and even ancient erotica)

The ancient Egyptian ethnicity wasn’t homogeneous

While the Egyptians were fine-ass astronomers they didn’t align any of their enormous and/or important buildings to modern star constellations, because constellations look very different now than they did ~5000 years ago 

Speaking of that particular sphinx, the Napoleonic expedition is not responsible for its missing nose

Akhenaten was not a “heretic” by contemporary standards

Ramses II appropriated a lot of his predecessors’ buildings/reliefs and isn’t really deserving of the epithet “the Great”

It was not, in fact, practice to shave off eyebrows after cats died; Herodotus lied about that

Here are some vetted Egyptological books/sources (that are by and large appropriate for a lay-audience) you can find most, if not all of the above:

Lehner, M., The Complete Pyramids

Wilkinson, R. H., The Complete Temples of Ancient Egypt

Hornung, E., The One and the Many: Conceptions of God in Ancient Egypt

Dunand, F. & Zivie-Coche, C., Gods and Men in Egypt

Kemp, B., Ancient Egypt: Anatomy of a Civilization

Bard, K., An Introduction to the Archaeology of Ancient Egypt

Stevenson Smith, W., The Art and Architecture of Ancient Egypt

Kitchen, K. A., The Life and Times of Ramesses II, King of Egypt

Sweeney, D., Sex and Gender (in Ancient Egypt)

McDowell, A. G., Village Life in Ancient Egypt:  Laundry Lists and Love Songs

“–People will, of course, say that I killed my brother intentionally. The gods know it's a lie, but gossip will haunt me until my dying day…"

VISERYS THE PEACEFUL

“–I wish I had been tested. I often think that in the crucible of adversity I would have become different, reforged…”

© Viserys I

RHAENYRA THE REALM’S DELIGHT

"I wasn't born to sit in a castle and sew while my brother takes my throne..."

© Rhaenyra

AEGON II THE USURPER

"Thrones are won with swords, not pens. Spill blood, not ink..."

© Aegon II

A pothelm (or topfhelm) is a medieval knightly "pot helmet" (from the German "Topfhelm" - pot-helmet) with a cylindrical or conical shape.

AEGON THE CONQUEROR

"–When the sun sets, your line shall end..."

©Aegon I Targaryen