wake me up

this is AMAZING

THIS IS A FUCKING PAINTING

I thought this was a fucking photo omg

u deserve infinite notes!!

why am i a college student and not a cat that lives in an antique shop

fucking oh god

FUCK I WANT

one time i was on an old street in glasgow and i made a loud joke about vampires and as i did this beautiful man with long hair on the other side of the street made direct eye contact with me and then ten minutes later he walked by again and looked at me and I still count that on my list of the five closest times I’ve ever come to dying

likely: I am just too loud to not look at in public places and he was just lost downtown also likely: vampire, scoping me out for the kill

maybe the vampire just thought you were hot and funny?

a vampire finding u hot and interesting is AS bad as them finding you ugly and annoying as far as the Trying To Remain Human And Alive thing goes

It must be hard for the vampire too. Technically as they prey on humans for their blood, they rank higher than us in the food chain. To them, we are but sentient sandwiches. A vampire finding a human attractive has my eternal sympathy, because it’s basically like falling in love with a sandwich and that must be difficult to process.

God I love her.

i think we shoukd have glowstick juice injected in our bones when we’re born so if we break em theres a fun little surprise

whats the surprise

blood poisoning

basing a foreign speaker’s intelligence on how fluent they are in a foreign language is so ignorant

As my dad always says, “Anyone who speaks with an accent knows one more language than you.”

I NEED all the hugely popular blatantly fake posts from 2012 - 2014 right now

I hate it when you’re reading smut and you can’t figure out what position they’re in.

ITS BACK

lord 

Y’ALL NEED JESUS

Please stop reblogging this post

nah whenever this appears on my dash i laugh for years

I am fucking.SCREAMING