Alea Eve

wastes crazy amounts of space and water

soul-crushingly boring

extremely frustrating to all but the highest level of players (most golfers will never even shoot par)

prohibitively expensive (golf clubs are very costly and one round of golf can cost $100+)

mini golf:

18 holes will fit into an area the size of a small park; most courses use astroturf, which doesn't even require water

a fun game of skill to challenge your friends to

easy to get into, but difficult to master

cheap (you and your friends can probably play for like, $20)

I said, “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.”

The DEA officer verbally exploded, saying, “Mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!” Reaching into his back pocket, the officer pulled out his badge and shoved it in my face. “See this fucking badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish… on ANY land! No questions asked or answers given! Do I make myself clear? Do you understand?”

I nodded politely, apologized, and went about my chores. A short time later, I heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by my big old mean bull! With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer and it seemed likely that he’d get gored before reaching safety. The officer was clearly terrified.

So, I threw down my tools, ran to the fence, and shouted at the top of my lungs.