Al-palooza

I want to see if we can turn this into a tag game...

:3

Idk who to tag sooo

A Luna Moth!!!

I'd ride a quokka!!

I'll tag @kennystrator @the-herro @cooldudetheman

I would have a giant African snail and we would ride off into the sunset.

Honestly…

Maybe a dumbo rat? But then again I can see it being chaotic. Maybe the rat I have is chill and won’t like, climb on walls and let me die. And then I can pet it and feed it frozen peas in water.

The suit specially made for him and his powers. No goggles, hair slicked back (except maybe for one strand).

He so pleasantly to look at, he kinda looks like male main actors from the old movies.

Flambae is at awe.

Bonus: Waterboy goes viral on social media after the interview and even gets modeling gigs

YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!

I will say for me I have a persons hc that Waterboy is a Clark Kent situation as in people don’t recognize him much outside of his wetsuit and goggles? It’s VERY complicated. He saves his blue goggles for work usually and he’ll wear them outside of work too. If Waterboy is like, in a suit at an interview for Waterboy he has to have his blue goggles on his person. Like he could have his goggles up on his head and showing full face, people STILL won’t recognize him cause they’re stupid and I thought it would be really funny (and waterboy is both very confused and also very grateful).

If he has his blue goggles and he’s like, wearing anything else outside of work (he usually doesn’t do this though) they just think he’s a coincidental Waterboy fan. It’s very weird. For total anonymity (and honestly what he usually does outside of work) he wears black goggles outside of work or round framed glasses. Cause yes…

His goggles are prescription.

SO

He had his slicked back hair, his suit but he has his goggles on his head (giving that hot Af tinkerer vibe Ngl) and he looks GOOD. Sure his suit is a bit wet but it’s actually not leaking water that much. This is the DRIEST Waterboy’s ever been and he feels really good about himself for once. He doesn’t look like a drowned rat. And Prism has been hyping him up like CRAZY, saying he could EASILY be on the Bachelor or something to which Waterboy replies “O-Oh god please n-no”. with a laugh.

Flambae is just staring.

And staring.

And staring.

Cause holy shit, Wetbitch cleans up GOOD. He’s HOT (flambae knows a lot about being hot lol), he’s ELEGANT, he’s CLASSY and most of all, he’s fucking SEXY.

Flambae would usually get pissed off at this. He USUALLY does. But now he just…can’t. Waterboy looks so good he legit can’t be mad. He didn’t even know this nerd could look this…

Exquisite….

Waterboy notices Flambae staring a LOT and he’s worried and asks if he looks weird or if there’s something wrong, and Flambae snaps out of it. Flambae then just tells Waterboy to sit far away from him. And at first Waterboy is worried and a bit hurt (Prism is about to tell Flambae off), but then Flambae says “I don’t need you to steal my thunder bitch.”

And Waterboy (and Prism) realize it was a COMPLIMENT. Flambae thinks Waterboy looks GOOD. And Waterboy grins and Prism is grinning to and she’s like “awwww Bae!” And Flambae huffs and averts his eyes cause he said what he said and he is LEAVING IT AT THAT.

At the interview, Waterboy is still Waterboy. He still stutters, is awkward and he is still a bit nervous, but he’s also cheery and enthusiastic about hero work and doing his best. And sure interviewers will sometimes give him a hard time while he’s in his hero suit and they’ll often call him “useless” or w “novice” (despite being one of the most important at SDN cause hello..water..), but today they just..can’t. The team KNOWS the interviewers might have more tricky questions for him and instead they just..switch it up.

Waterboy seems pleased and yeah, Flambae is watching.

When the clips of the interview come out, literally the internet is in an uproar (a confused/good one). Waterboy fans (The Water Nation) are ECSTATIC cause Waterboy is so PRETTY. They are freaking the fuck out and they can’t handle it. People who don’t like waterboy (think he’s useless or stupid) are VERY conflicted cause he..looks GREAT? Like sure they still may not be fans of him but..they really can’t exactly use the excuse he’s “weird looking” anymore, even though beauty is very subjective.

Waterboy is flustered when his official SDN approved social media account is flooded with attention and SDN is being asked to be able to have photoshoots and modeling gigs with Waterboy. Mandy is quite frankly surprised and a bit overwhelmed cause there is a LOT of Waterboy requests (along with requests for Malevola, Prism, Flambae, and literally everyone else except Sonar, Punch Up and Golem, which is BULLSHIT). Mandy tells Waterboy and the poor guy is so bewildered and a bit stressed he gets dizzy.

Another thing from that interview is people were noticing Flambae was staring a LOT at Waterboy. Like a LOT. There’s been footage of them being friendly but Flambae also acts a bit mean (Waterboy knows Flambae doesn’t mean it at all) to Waterboy but they’ve never seen him have this amount of attention towards the moist hero before. EVER.

The Internet is immediately trying to decipher what it means, as in “is he jealous?”, “are they friendlier?” or “Holy shit does he have the hots (lol) for Waterboy??”.

SHE RAISED A GENTLEMAN

thats what we call neo nazis and shitty conservative bros? or at least its what we used to call them? why are ppl calling themselves "chuds" affectionately now

what is happening

when you call yourself and your friends "chuds"

YOU

ARE

CALLING

YOURSELF

A

And he's fully prepared for the same thing to happen this year. A twinkie in the dark and beef panting out the candle. And it almost is, buying the treat from the vending machine and tucking the twin pack into his bag as he gets ready to head home.

But then Herm is tapping his shoulder. Smiling at him and handing him a Tupperware container of something. He frowns, turning and looking properly, seeing the team behind him all holding balloons and wearing party hats. Even Chad whoes arms are cross, clearly grumpy about it.

"Whats....all this?"

Chad huffs and Coupé blows a party horn without breaking her blank expression.

"You're old, Bob Bob. We're taking you out for drinks. So hurry the fuck up. I need to get drunk so fucking bad right now"

He rips the hat from his head and tries to fix his hair as Robert looks back down at the container and opens it. A comforting smell filling then air. Making his heart still.

"This is..."

Miyeokguk. It's Miyeokguk.

"Herm insisted. Said it was traditional or something"

Robert can feel his eyes stinging. Looking down at the beef floating in the broth. The seaweed plump and green. It's smells like his mum.

"Grandma helped-assisted with the beef and some-some of the chopping. Wet hands...you know. Slippery"

Herm chuckled awkwardly proud but nervous as Robert just keeps staring. Looking and dripping tears. Quickly closing the container before it can be ruined by his own salty liquid. Sniffling and wiping his eyes on the cuff of his work shirt. Trying to change the subject.

"How did you-"

"Yeah, mother fucker. I blabed. What you gonna do about it? Kick my ass with your skinny fucking twig legs? Yeah right. I'm taking Beef, have a good night and get shit faced, you deserve it"

Chase peaked from over his booth wall. Holding a leash and tossing a card onto his desk. Picking up beef and letting him lick Robert goodbye, getting pats from the team before they both head out. Chase shooting him a soft look full of a love so pure Robert forgets he isn't blood related for a moment.

"Come on. Bring your soup, you can eat it at the bar. I reserved us a booth"

Mal is gripping his shoulder. Picking up his bag and guiding him towards the group and into the trum of bodies. All slapping his shoulders and ruffling his hair. Wishing him well and teasing his age. Walking to the bar, soup in hand and a strange feeling in his chest.

He doesn't break down sobbing until he gets home. Soup and beer filling his belly. Carrying way more gifts than he deserves. Cheeks covered in lipstick marks and Chad's horrible singing voice still ringing in his head.

He blames the alcohol.

so i had this idea triggered by a thread with @enigmasalad where malevola and sonar would teach waterboy how to, as sonar would say, "freak some fuckers out."

this guy is 6'6 and constantly leaking water like a creature, plus he has a fuck ton of anxious energy inside him that could be channeled into looking as manic as possible. just imagine if he used his awkwardness to his advantage in a pinch, he could be TERRIFYING.

so i'm writing a little thing about it with proper punctuation and capitalization as a treat. this is probably the closest thing to a proper fanfic y'all are getting from me

~ herming below the cut!! ~