It Couldnt Be Helped

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

AND WHY CAN IT BE ORDERED FROM WALMART

THE KNEE PADS AREN'T EVEN ON THE FUCKING KNEES

Flambae ❌

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

AND WHY CAN IT BE ORDERED FROM WALMART

THE KNEE PADS AREN'T EVEN ON THE FUCKING KNEES

Honestly I can’t think of many scenarios that would get him laughing like that. More like..people. And others in the game HAVE made Robert laugh but there’s only one that comes to mind right now.

So the first up is obviously Chase. He’s the person who can get Robert to laugh the hardest more often and it’s a little more easy for him. He usually just has to bitch about things or get after Robert or mess with him and Robert’s laughing. And just..one day he gets Robert to laugh HARD. And Chase doesn’t even know WHAT he did but he hasn’t heard Robert laugh like this since before the incident at the Barbecue. Robert is starting to wheeze a little and he’s just laugh. And why? Cause..he MISSED this. He really did. Despite him becoming jaded as hell, just something about Chase’s words hit him right and he’s a stupid kid again, laughing at his big brother figure.

The only other person to make Robert laugh (not much) that I personally know of is Waterboy (I apologize for being a simp and no I’m not trying to make this watermech despite me loving that ship so much). When Waterboy is cleaning up Robert’s desk he says he’s the helpful janitor and Robert laughs a tiny bit. I will admit..it might just a polite laugh. But then I’m the showers if you pick waterboy, he says “I’m just..Jizzed to join you!” And Robert laughs and says “Jazzed! The word is jazzed.” So..I think waterboy is a possible contender.

So I can see waterboy doing or saying things that get Robert to laugh a little bit and it’s like, never intentional. So the moment definitely isn’t Waterboy TRYING to get Robert to laugh. This moment is when Waterboy, annoyed by Z team shenanigans and stuff, says something absolutely sassy, sarcastic and SCATHING for the first time. They’re all in the break room and Robert was just trying to drink his coffee. So when the meanest comment Waterboy has ever made so far (and it’s not even that mean compared to everyone else) Robert has a spit take and he’s bewildered and laughing HARD. Waterboy is just glaring at them and the Z Team doesn’t know if they should be offended or PROUD but they are in agreement of telling Robert to STOP laughing.

Robert can’t help it. Waterboy is the sunshine of the Z Team and it’s kinda funny seeing the sunshine of the team telling everyone to go fuck themselves (it’s not what he said).

And now we’ve come to the third person…and it’s a curve ball. Are you ready?

It’s Galen.

If I remember correctly, Galen does comedy in his free time? And he’s kinda dry but..not? So I can see him getting Robert to crack somehow. I don’t know why but I can SEE IT.

So the Z Team see Galen talking with Robert and they’re chatting for a bit before suddenly Robert is laughing HARD. He’s WHEEZING and he has to turn away from Galen cause FUCK. He’s so embarrassed Galen got him this much. The team can’t see Roberts face but one, they’re certain he’s teary eyed and two, they’re..kinda scared cause they’ve NEVER seen Robert laugh this hard before.

Usually, it wouldn't bother him. He's gotten over this, and he's more confident than he's ever been. But today.. today was already a bad day, he just wants to lie down with all his kitties.

Each word burns into his mind, each tease, all the insults.

It gets to him.

Ooooooooof the feeeeeels. Forgive me for this being a bit long.

So…two scenarios come to mind and both can absolutely happen.

I do think the Z team will make fun of his stutter for a little while, even with Robert telling them to knock it off. It’s not everyone who does it. Plus he’s gotten used to it and..they’re just having fun…right? This is what..friends do for fun. Make fun of each other.

But uh..one day it just..hits wrong.

Herm gets another phone number from another woman and he’s flustered and stammers and stutters but he’s smiling a little cause..he doesn’t think he’s attractive but it’s nice to pretend. And the team tease him for a bit about him getting some lady’s number and Herm says “sh-she’s really bea-be-beau-pretty!”.

And then there’s some teasing of Herm having no game or being a virgin. He’s used to that and he knows it’s true. He’s trying to work on it. But uh..then some of the others start making fun of him going on a date or asking someone out. Visi and Flambae imitate him asking someone out with a stutter and Herm just..sulks a little. That’s…what he really would sound like huh?

Robert tells them to shut the fuck up and Flambae says they’re all doing it in good fun. It’s what they do. And when Flambae addresses his “right?” to Herm, and Herm tries to sound as…unbothered as he can but he’s never that successful. He just goes “Y-Yeah! Fun! Heh…”.

And the rest of the shift he’s..entirely quiet.

The team all had plans on going out and Herm was amongst the group excitedly talking about plans earlier in he day. But when they all gather to go out together, Herm says with a heavier than usual stutter that he just remembered he had important things to do that night so he’s going home. Everyone is surprised and they said they thought he was free. And Herm laughs nervously saying he forgot that he has a..very specific once a month chore to keep up with the house! And his grandma needs her medicine organized!

And Robert goes “Herm…it’s the third of the month.”

But Herm says he schedules it for the third of the month, and when he realizes he’s not..doing great at lying just smiles and says he’s sorry for dipping out before hurrying off.

When he gets home he takes care of his grandma, pretending to be okay and he tells her that their plans got cancelled so they’re doing it another day. When she’s in bed..the mask comes off. Herm is in a T-shirt and pajama shorts now. He goes to the bathroom and leaves the door open a crack. He just..lays down on the floor and curls up in a ball and cries. The kitties come in, curious as ever and they won’t get too close, but they start licking up the massive puddle he’s forming. Herm pretends they’re there cause they’re concerned for him and he just cries.

That Monday when it’s time to go back to work Herm is back to normal or well..as back to normal as he can be. Flambae and Visi haven’t apologized for what they did and Herm knows they probably won’t. He doesn’t expect them to.

He’s eating lunch in the breakroom when a hand missing two fingers reaches over him and places something in front of him. It’s one of Herm’s favorite things to treat himself with. Melon Ramune. Herm turns, surprises and he wants to thank, but Flambae is already leaving. Herm..realizes it’s a silent apology of sorts.

Visi still doesn’t apologize but..she doesn’t make fun of his stutter anymore either. No one on the team does anymore. They make fun of him for other less hurtful things but literally no one makes fun of his stutter anymore. He doesn’t know what happened to get them to change but SOMETHING happened while he wasn’t there.

And after that day, the team are actually DEFENSIVE when someone else makes fun of Herm’s stutter. Including Visi. They’ll be out together when someone makes fun of his stutter and the team squares up. Herm is..thankful for that.

So it should be no surprise they’re PISSED when a villain does it to him.

Herm is going against a villain and he’s TRYING his best. And he’s talking to the villain attempting to try to settle things a little more peacefully but then the villain laughs. He asks if Herm is glitching or skipping (like a record or a CD). It’s not the most creative insult and Herm doesn’t mind it as much.

But then the villain laughs again, asking how he can even be a hero if he can’t even “talk right”? And Herm freezes. He’s..heard some mean people telling him to “talk right” or other mean people asking “why can’t you just talk right?” In the past. It’s not..all the time but..it hurts. So he starts getting in his head.

And he starts getting his ass handed to him. Robert heard the exchange and he’s trying to get Herm to focus and ignore what that villain said. And as Prism is walking by to go on break when she hears Robert say “Look what he said about your stutter is utter bullshit now-“

Prism is gone.

She’s rushing out and she’s telling literally everyone else on the team. Robert notices that..a lot of the Z team are..just abandoning their jobs? And Prism is back on the field when he told her to go on break?? Like what the fuck is happening?

Robert asks what the hell are they doing? They need to finish their jobs! Punch up says “I don’t give a F U C K about mowing some eejit’s lawn!!”. Flambae says that the kids at the school he was at can learn about fire safety by their damn selves. Malevola insists that they didn’t REALLY need her help directing traffic. Prism, who’s supposed to be on break, says no one fucks with her boy (Herm is one of two boys).

Even Phenomaman is on his way. He was supposed to calm some people down about a property dispute but Phen just says “Do not fret Robert Robertson. I have moved the house.” And Robert is just staring at the screen just..in shock before saying “What do you mean you moved the house???”. Phen doesn’t answer back.

And Robert hears Herm make a shocked sound and what..sounds like fighting? And Herm timidly asks Robert if..he sent literally everyone. Robert just sighs, holding his head in his hands and he’s like “No. I didn’t.”