Aki

Turns out casually dropping "fuck me dead" into conversation will give unsuspecting Americans an aneurism.

Rifling through the tags, here's some other terms which are apparently causing mass carnage whenever they escape our borders:

Having a goon (i.e. Sipping on a delightful wine)

Having a gaytime (Eating an icecream)

Having a sticky beak (Investigating)

Take a squiz (To have a sticky beak)

Get stuffed (To express a revelation is most frightful)

Chuck a sickie (Take a day off work due to the humours being misaligned)

Chuck a wobbly (When one's temperament becomes visibly upset)

Carry on like a pork chop (Acting most silly indeed)

Thongs (flip flops)

Hot chook (Pre-cooked supermarket rotisserie chicken, otherwise known as the Bachelor's Handbag)

Fair suck of the sauce bottle (Let's be real)

Shits me to tears (Something is mildly annoying)

Not here to fuck spiders (Expressing a situation is serious)

Having a piss-up (A social gathering)

I'll shout you (offering to goon an old chum)

Nigerian Pride 🏳️‍🌈🇳🇬

Like what do you mean this is a 200 something year old man who was a soldier in the war of 1812 and abducted on the battlefield by aliens and put through implied medical torture/experimentation by said aliens?

And he seems to have an insanely durable body and long ass life that either came about as a result from said experimentation OR he found ways to extend his life and level up his strength, speed, agility, etc on his own by studying and extracting genetic materials from extraterrestrials?

And as a result of his experience he persuades President Grant to create the EPF a special black ops division of the US military that deals with the X Files level shit that the government wants to keep their hands clean of?

And this shady ass organization is responsible for imprisoning and experimenting on aliens and mutants because this whole "eradicate everyone that looks different" thing is totally a reasonable reaction and not at all a massively overblown trauma response to what he was put through at the hands of a singular group of aliens?

And what do you mean he has a change of heart when a mutant saves his life and then decides to dismantle the EPF entirely and instead focus on diplomacy and essentially create the intergalactic level UN??

What???

Men will literally start new military divisions and devote multiple lifetimes to the military industrial complex persecuting others until a new experience shakes them to their core and challenges their core tenents of beliefs and usher in a new reign of peace to atone for their atrocious level of sins before ever even considering going to therapy