Let me tell you everything I know about pizza

my dad just said "kane get up. only egypt can have its goal disallowed get messi if u want a foul"

just remembered shows used to have 20-25 eps per season

I always feel clickbaited by titles like this because people only get humiliated in conversation. Now if Count Binface was destroying a Sky News interviewer physically with a woodchipper that would be something.

important reminder that most people you follow online are significantly lamer than you think they are including me. and if you feel insecure comparing yourself to someone online: DON'T. theyre probably also lame and weird. most people on the internet are

reblog if you're also lame and weird.

but ykw at least i'm not on mount everest. at least i'm not paying tens of thousands of dollars to slowly suffocate in a 300-person line at the gates of hell. never in my life will i have to be steered in a hypoxic stupor through the maze of poop and corpses atop mount everest. on this earth a lot of horrible things can happen to you without your permission but there are a few that you have to opt into. you can just say no thanks! and be guaranteed never to have to be on mount everest. much to be grateful for actually

still not on mount everest this morning 😌 alhamdulillah