studyblr(i try)

i want to learn ceramics, to play the electric guitar, bass, painting, i want to go camping, get into film photography, learn about tea, coffee and wine, all trees and flowers from my country, try out all fruits ever, know how to cook heavenly, have a cosy house and invite people i love and have a wall they can decorate and a handmade outfit from scratch that i’ll keep forever, have a communitary vegetable garden, own a bookshop that’s also a flowershop that’s also a café

if there was a post to describe australia, this is it

wake up australia 

It’s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel.

Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do

yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes

why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they’re going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called “swooping season” and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it’s fucking brutal.

My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us.

no but when you’re 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange

what the actual fuck australia 

I am pretty sure all of these Australia stories are a massive, globally-spanning trolling effort, and only the people who have visited the country are allowed to be in on the joke.

Australia: the only country where it is necessary to sign a peace treaty with the birds in order to stay unmangled.

They lost a war against emus. The the magpie stories are unsurprising.

what… what happened with the emus

The Great Emu War of 1932: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emu_War

yeah so earth is definitely not a ridiculous death planet, right? right?

This is the most exciting and interesting story I have read.